Love Locket
by Iris Aquarius
Summary: A story of Dorcas Meadows, growing up with the Marauders and her connections with people. It's going to be a long one with love, friendship, laughter and heartbreak. Hope you like it! I do not own these characters, all right go to J.K. Rowling.
1. Prolouge

Prologue:

The soothing sprinkling of rain against the window seems a mockery to the turmoil in his mind. It was a battle between the mind and the soul, as all true inner battles are. His heart tells him to just forget logic and tell her. It wouldn't be hard, all she had to do was look at him with that melting expression that she had no matter what form she had taken. Whenever she looked at him like that he had the almost overwhelming urge to take her into his arms and tell her how he feels about her. However, his whole life had been dedicated to logic. He was a nerd, always had been. He believed that the rational way to life was the best. He got so much abuse for that when he was a kid, his closest friends had always been very different from him. She was very different then that.

She had grabbed his hand before a meeting of the Order and dragged him giggling into a freshly cleaned room before he could say anything. As always he was drawn to this pink haired girl with the ability to change her shape at will.

"Remus," She had looked up at him with no shame in her face. "We never get to have time to ourselves and I thought that we could have a moment."

"Remus," she said his name again with a purr in her voice, "We've been flirting for ages now and I've been waiting for you to say something but you are too slow. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to tell you that I think you're cute and I want to go to dinner with you sometime." The look on her face was full of mischief and fun. She had been standing so close and twined her hand in his while waiting for his answer.

Remus felt like he had been clubbed. Brutally. He couldn't help but be drawn to this vivacious girl but there was so much that stood in their way. "Tonks," He sighed and leaned against the door away from her, "It's not that easy."

"Why not?" She put a hand on her hip and looked honestly surprised.

"Tonks, I am too old for you, I am too poor; Both those things are never going to get better, they probably will get worse. Not to mention that I am a danger to you once a month, and I care too much about you to let you put yourself in danger."

"Oh come on, I'm a danger to you once a month and you don't see me all worried." She laughed and took a step closer to him. He had no where to go and she was getting so close. Too close. "And all that other nonsense I don't care about. So why should you?"

He got a whiff of that elusive scent of hers, it wasn't strong or overwhelming, it just wafted sweetly into his nose and drove him crazy. "If you don't, you should. They are valid reasons that this can't happen." He quickly turned his back to her and ran out the door. Well, he didn't run but it was damn near quick.

Now he was here listening to the sprinkle of rain but in his hand was a picture of another girl. A dark haired girl with deep sapphire eyes smiling up at him and blowing kisses while laughing. The background is blurry but he knew that it was that little cave in the Forbidden Forest that was their place. Can he deny that one of the reasons that he was drawn to Tonks was the amazing resemblance to Casey. Every time that she did one of those quirky little things that mimicked Casey perfectly was like a stab to the heart for Remus. After all these years, he thought memories of her were laid to rest. Why does it hurt like she had left only hours ago? But there was other things that drew him to Tonks, things that were very different from anything Casey would do. So why, when his mind should be trying to figure out what he should do with Tonks, was his mind preoccupied by that wild laughter of Casey and how her eyes would sparkle when she looked at him.

When the door creaked open, Remus didn't even look up. He knew that Sirius would come. Sirius, joker and flake that he was, loved his friends above all else. In his own way, all he wanted to do was take care of them. Too bad Remus was all he had left. The others were gone. Cold and buried in the ground.

"Hey, buddy," Sirius's voice was slightly mocking as he came into the room, "You've made my little niece cry. I should be here to give you a stern lecture."

Remus sighed and looked up at his friend. The desperation must have been apparent in his golden eyes because Sirius gave a quiet laugh and came over to sit beside his friend, "Ah, Mooney. It's not that bad. All you got to do is give her a smooch and she'll be right as rain." The dark, gaunt man ruffled his friends graying hair.

"Whatchya got there?" He asked seeing the picture in Remus's hand. When Remus gave it to him, the breath in his chest disappeared as if he'd been hit solidly in the solar plex. His normally jocular inflection was gone when he sighed, "Oh, Mooney."

"I miss her, Sirius." Remus sighed. "But she's not the one I should be thinking about tonight. I've got to figure out what to do with Tonks."

Sirius was silent as he contemplated the dark laughing eyes of the girl in the picture. "Do you love her?"

"How can you ask me that!" Remus leaned back into the wall behind me and shut his eyes, "I haven't felt like this since the day Casey left. I never thought I'd love another person again. Now I've fallen for a girl who could just as well be my daughter."

"What would Casey tell you?" Sirius tried to smile at his friend but it was a little shaky. Sirius had been taken off guard.

"She'd laugh at me. Shake her head and tell me to take her for dinner in Paris, just for the hell of it." Remus answered. "I've never been able to be like her, though. I tried so hard but I wasn't good enough in the end."

"Mooney," Sirius voice was cold now. "I know you tend to look on the darker side of things; But don't you _ever_ say that again. She loved you more then any other. It's a disrespect to her memory for you to even second guess that."

Remus wouldn't agree or disagree. Instead he looked at his friend and asked, "Do you know that Harry doesn't know anything about her, really. She was so excited when he was born. And all Harry has ever heard about her is _That's Dorcas Meadowes, Voldemort killed her personally_. "

"It's weird who history remembers." Sirius sighed. "I never thought I'd be remembered for anything after my name was blasted from that tree."

"I always thought for sure she'd be remembered. She knew just about everyone."

" I remember her." Sirius voice was achingly soft.

"Oh Padfoot, I'm sorry." Remus softly put a hand on his friends back, "I know it hurts you just as much as it does me."

The two men, one gaunt and ragged and the other worn and prematurely grey looked down at a girl forever young and remembered when they were youths standing beside her, handsome and full of life.


	2. First Impressions

Chapter 1: First Impressions

**Sirius**

The tears were threatening to spill out again. He'd tried and tried to be a better son. Nothing he did would make his mother smile. He had too much energy for a child of the House of Black. Why couldn't he be like his perfect older cousin or even like the younger two who listened to their father and mother.

It was so hard to be an adult when he was only six years old. Sitting at dinner silently as the adults talk… It was so hard when the whole world was out there waiting to be seen. He had so many questions about everything. Every time he voiced them, though, she'd give him that look. The look that meant "_Why can't you be more like Bellatrix? Or Regalus?"_

Reggie was perfect. 3 years old and already knew when to be quiet. All Mother would have to do was place a finger on his nose and he'd stop his childish banter and sit by her side. An ornament to show off like her diamonds or family heirlooms.

Was that all that life was? Shiny things and dinner parties? Bella was going to Hogwarts this summer. She was leaving. He sighed and wished he was old enough to go with her. His cousins knew that there was more to life than the Black Family. Though, of course, it was still the most important thing. What could be more important than the family name? Nothing. That was clearly always the answer when Sirius even came close to asking that question.

He wished his cousins were up. Then Mother wouldn't have been so hard on him when he began to figet at dinner. Bella always had a polite excuse so that he could run away with Annie and Cissy. The twins that were terribly different from one another. Andromeda was more like Bellatrix than Narcissa really. In looks and attitude. Cissy and Reg got along well. Both dutiful and sweet. They even looked sweet. Cissy had those big blue eyes and curling blond hair that gave her the look of an angel. When Reg, held her hand with that cherubic smile they looked like a picture that you'd find in a store bought picture frame. Too perfect. Light and Dark.

Annie was his favorite. They'd bonded over punishments and scolding. Annie had a tongue on her that got her in trouble nearly as much as Sirius was. She had Bella though. Bella always tried to smooth things over and save Annie. He wished that Bella would save him sometimes. He wished he wasn't the oldest. If he was a dutiful son of the family, then maybe he could survive. He wasn't as perfect as Bella was though and failed. Reg probably would have been a better oldest son.

The tears threatened again as he thought of how disappointed his mother would be that he ran away again. He just couldn't take it again. He'd been in the Parlor Room and accidently dropped a box that held some metal or another. He didn't even know if it was broken or not. He just ran.

"Are you okay?" A voice asked right in front of him. He hadn't even realized he'd closed his eyes.

When he opened them he was looking into a little face which held concerned over large eyes. They didn't look like they'd fit into her little face, they were so big those eyes.

He tried to shrug. She jumped up on the park bench beside him and asked. "Do you live around here?" Her feet didn't even touch the ground though she was perched at the very end of the seat.

"Over there." He sniffed and rubbed the tears from his face. "Mother was going to be mad so I ran here."

She nodded and looked in the direction he pointed. "What's it like having a mother?"

"Bad." Sirius frowned. "My names Sirius Black."

She laughed. "My names Casey Meadows. Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yes!" Sirius perked up.

"You have a funny name too, so I can tell you. My real name is Dorcas!" She whispered in his ear. He giggled in response. "The older kids make fun of me and call me Dorky Dorcas so Tommy renamed me Casey. It has the last letters of my name, see?"

"Tommy?"

"He lived at the orphanage with me. But he's gone now. He still comes to see me though! I'm his favorite. He doesn't come to see the other kids." She smiled proudly. "Look he gave me a present!"

She took a large locket out of her uniform and showed him proudly, "It's only on loan but he trusts me to take care of it."

"Do you want to play?" Sirius asked her and looked over at the play structure built in one corner of the park.

"YEAH! Last one there is a rotten egg!" She crowed and leapt from the bench as if she was on fire. Her little legs spirited her off like a fairy flitting from flower to flower. He smiled and told himself that he finally had a friend. Like the stories talked about. He decided then and there that she was a good friend with her quick smile and dark eyes that looked deep into him.

**Remus**

Every library has that distinct smell. The one of dust, mold and something else. Something alluring. He hadn't been in the halls of Hogwarts for longer than a week before he had found sanctuary in the library.

Making friends was something Remus had trouble with. He hardly had any opportunity to when he was young. Ever since his _accident_, for that's what his parents called it, they had kept him apart from other kids. Not to protect the other children, but to protect him. Remus had known that people wouldn't accept him for what he was. There were so many proverbs and saying that told him to "_Be himself"_ but he knew he couldn't do that. Shouldn't do that. He had learned to keep secrets almost before he could talk. Well, maybe not secrets. Just the one really.

He had been so happy to hear that he could come to Hogwarts. He'd always heard of this place as if it was a place in a fairytale. When it came near his time to come he began to ask excited questions. He didn't have to hear his parents words, when he saw his mother's stricken face he realized that maybe he couldn't go. Hogwarts might not accept people like _him._

His father fought for him. The poor guilty man, who blamed himself for his sons affliction. He went to the Board of Education countless times until finally he was allowed an audience with the Headmaster. Albus Dumbledor. Even the name awed Remus. He was a great man. That was told him over and over, by both his parents. With certain precautions, Remus would be allowed to attend Hogwarts.

He had glowed with pleasure until the very day came. September 1st. When he realized that going to Hogwarts meant leaving his safe house and venture into the world. He knew how people reacted to people like him. He couldn't even say it. Couldn't name what he was. It was too horrible. He was a monster. Maybe he shouldn't be allowed to come to this venerable place.

The fear that someone people would look at him and know what was wrong him had followed him like a shadow since he had entered the building. He thought it was ironic that he was sorted into the house that spoke of Bravery and Glory. He wasn't brave. He didn't want glory. He just wanted to be accepted.

The other boys seemed to get along well. He shared the dormitory with three other boys, a small group really. The other houses had more than just four boys. Two were already friend. Remus sighed as he thought about the very word. James Potter and Sirius Black. They were beyond cool, in Remus's ten year old mind. Confident and smart. Not bookish and quiet like him. Even the little boy, Peter Pettigrew was being absorbed into their group. His chatter and innocent happiness was appealing to the two dark haired boys. Remus and his books were over looked.

If only he could live in one of the books that he loved. He looked at the stacks and rows of books around him and sighed. He knew his place was here. No one could hurt him here. No one could throw rocks or insults and make him have to move to another town. He just sometimes wished that he could live like a character in one of his books instead of through them. What would it like to be able to live instead of just read about life.

There were other people here. He wondered if they had secrets. If they hid from the world? The library was never empty, really. Couldn't he be friends with another person who had secrets. They'd be comfortable in their not telling, wouldn't they be?

But that would mean approaching someone. Remus sighed. The word _Hello_ seemed like an epic battle to the shy boy. A battle he didn't want to fight, not really. Not when he could hide behind the pages of a book and read about others fighting those battles.

He looked around the room, at all the people there. One girl was in his year. Gryffindor, like him. He'd seen her talking with Sirius and James. Casey Meadows was her name. And she was looking right at him. He did the only thing he could think of, he hid behind a book.

She was much to vivacious for him to even think about talking to. When her name was called for the Sorting, they had barely started her last name when she rushed forward, "Yeah, yeah I know what it says! I'm here, _Casey_ Meadows."

She didn't have the hat on her a second before it shouted out "GRYFFINDOR"

He watched her skip over and sit next to Sirius and hug him happily. Too much life for Remus. He needed another quiet kid to befriend. A nerd, like him.

He could still hear his heart pounding in his chest from the moment of eye contact the two had made. He tried to take a breath to calm it but when a finger caught the top of the book and lowered it to the table, it just began to hammer against his rib cage again. He was looking right into deep dark blue eyes. Eyes like the midnight ocean; deep and mysterious. He couldn't breath.

"I'm Casey." She smiled at him. "I've seen you around and I thought that you looked like a quality kid."

He took a breath, or tired to at least. He lifted his sword and raced into battle. "Hello." He said and tried to keep looking into her eyes that reminded him of water he could drown in. His mind raced but all it could come up with was _ OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!_

"Hi." She laughed. "I want to try something, will you come with me?"

This was his moment. She held her hand out to him and before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed her hand and smiled at how warm it was. She smiled a rather crooked smile at him and turned away. He still saw that smile in his mind though. She smiled with one side more than the other, hence the crooked. It, along with the sparkle in her eyes, promised adventure. He couldn't help but grin back even though she was already hurrying out of the library, away from his sanctuary, dragging him behind her.

She didn't lead him too far, just up and up and up and up stairs until she finally stopped slightly out of breath. That smile was still on her face though as she vaguely waved at a carpet that was rolled up near one of the windows. He looked out and saw that they had climbed high up one of the towers and the ground was far beneath them.

"It's a flying carpet!" She wheezed. "Sirius said they were illegal now, but I'm sure it still works. Let's go!"

She proceeded to unroll the carpet as the fear started to creep it's fingers around Remus's heart and lungs making it difficult to breath.

"Casey! There's a reason they were outlawed! It's so easy to fall off of them! They're not safe!" Remus tried to reason with her, but she looked up with that smile that he was starting to realize wasn't good for his health.

"I know! That's the fun of it!" She grinned. "Are you scared?"

He faltered for a moment and answered honestly, "Yes!" he was just glad it didn't come out as a squeak.

She laughed, his toes tingled at the sound. He had made her laugh and not at him, well not really. It was a full, slightly wild laugh of someone who didn't care that it fairly abrasive. She clearly wasn't a giggler, she laughed with all of who she was.

"I like you. Good and Honest. You never told me your name!" She grinned at him and gave him a wink. "Though, I have to say. I already know it."

"Remus. My name's Remus Lupin." He smiled back.

"Well, good to meet you Remus Lupin." When she said his name, it sounds like she was tasting something sweet. He'd never heard his name sounds so appealing. She shook his hand pompously and stifled a grin. "Now let's jump on this hog and go!"

"Okay!" Clearly she was a bad influence on him. What happened to the scared child hiding in between pages of a book. Remus had never done anything like this.

They climbed on and the carpet gave a lurch and rose into the air. Both scrambled to find a purchase on the thin cloth.

"Whoa now, Bessie!" Casey cackled as she wound her finger in the fringe of the room. "Let's go over the lake!"

And they did. The carpet sped out of the window at an alarming speed and the two ended laying flat on their bellies trying not to yell as the air whipped their hair out of their faces and behind them. As they got used to the hair raising speed of flying through the air, Casey got more adventurous. She'd let go of the carpet for a moment or two until Remus would grab her to make sure she wouldn't slip off. Her laughter at his concern was ripped from her mouth and lost behind them but he knew she what she was doing. He couldn't help smiling and laughing along with her.

When they flew low over the lake he even reached down and felt the water with his finger tips, marveling at the arc of crystal droplets that sped behind him. She grinned and moved close to him so that she could trail her fingers in too.

As he felt the warmth of another body beside me, he couldn't help but grin as wide as he ever had before. He looked at her. He couldn't help it, really. As sheltered as he was a child, he never had experiences like this. Her eyes were squinting against the wind but the sparkle could still be seen in the depths of those blue eyes. Her dark hair whipped behind her like it had a life of it's own. Dark tendrils winding in and out of each other like ebony serpents. She was a beautiful Medusa. Would it be his death to look her in the eye?

When she turned to see him looking at her, she smiled a slower smile then the bright grin that had usually been on her face. She understood him. Her eyes spoke that to him, like no words could. She didn't mind his appraisal. It would be his death looking into those eyes. The death of the boy hiding in libraries happened in that very moment. He'd do any stupid, brave thing from that point on, just to make her smile that slow smile at him again. He promised himself he would.


	3. A Midnight Visit

A Midnight Visit:

Sirius heard the light shuffle of tiptoeing feet in socks over a hardwood floor. It had only been a week since school had started and she'd visited every night.

"Move over, you're hoggin' the bed." Her familiar whisper came out of the darkness. He could just barely make out her silhouette in the darkness.

"It _is_ my bed, Cas." Sirius stifled a smile and crawled over.

"Oh come on, learn to share!" Sirius heard the smile in her voice as she crawled under his covers and snuggled close to him.

"You're feet are cold."

"Want to complain some more, Black?"

"You're going to get me in trouble one day."

"That's what you said the first night of school."

"And I only let you stay, 'cause you said it was a special occasion."

"Well today's one too!"

"What's special about today?"

"So many things! The first week of Hogwarts is over, the weather was beautiful, I got to my Charms class without getting lost once, _and _I've found you a new friend!"

"Are you collecting more lost souls, Casey?"

"I collected you, didn't I? Haven't heard you complain too much."

"You do enjoy collecting us, don't you?"

"Some one has to."

"Okay, Wendy!"

She laughed and snuggled closer, "Wendy and her lost boys… pretty fitting, huh? But they're not all boys. I've collected a few girls too!"

"You're a new and improved Wendy and the lost children."

She laughed. "Okay, sounds good."

"So whose the newest member of the gang?"

"Shh, he'll hear you. It's Remus Lupin."

"The quiet kid?"

"The wonderful kid!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I might replace him as my best friend if you don't give me some room."

"Happy?"

"Yes!"

"So what's so special about this Remus, kid?"

"Talk to him tomorrow! Promise me, Sirius?"

"Yeah, sure. I promise." The two without a thought entwined pinkies and kissed their thumbs. The unbreakable seal between best friends.

"We had so much fun today! Remember the flying carpet your mother was throwing out and we snatched from the garbage? We flew over the lake and the forest today! It was amazing until we had to land. I never quite got the hang of that. I accidently sprained Remus's wrist. But the nurse got him ship-shape in no time. He said he forgave me and he's pretty honest so I do believe him."

"That poor boy. Hoodwinked by my little elf."

"I'm growing! I swear! One day I'll be taller than you, Sirius!"

"You'll be taller than me on the day you teach a dragon to sit up straight and drink tea without spilling."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"How was your day?"

"Good! James is a real hoot. We had a great time racing up and down the hallways. Did you know he's mum and the headmaster are grand ol' friends. We ran into Professor Dumbledor on the way, and before he could lecture us at all James piped up, _Professor, my mother wants to sternly berate you for not coming to tea last Thursday. She even went out and bought those special cranberry muffins you like so much._ He was so abashed we didn't get into hardly any trouble at all! What about you? How are you?"

"Good."

"Would you like to elaborate, Miss Monosyllable."

"I hate wand waving."

Sirius laughed at the put out emphasis in her voice.

"I'm an awful witch." She elaborated.

"Oh come on! You got house points for that potion you made yesterday."

"I love that stuff! I really do! But that's not witch stuff. That's more like cooking."

"I sure wouldn't be happy eating whatever came out of my cauldron."

"That's cause you and James spent the entire glass trying to get eel skin down Lily Evan's collar."

"Hahaha, that was a real hoot. She gave James such an ugly look when she caught him mid-throw."

"I befriend infants, really."

"And you love them!"

"That's what you think."

"Well, I love you enough for both of us."

"Aww, I do love you too, Sirius Black."

"I was so happy when I saw you on the train."

"I was happy to be there. Ever since you told me about Hogwarts, it's all I've wanted."

"I knew you were a witch. The first time you told me a story. Your words made it come to life, I could see what you were talking about, I could hear it, I could taste it. It was clearly witch stuff."

"Remember when you first called me a witch?"

"And you refused to come to the park for a whole week."

"Sorry about that."

"Eh, I survived."

"Aren't you glad to be away, though? No Mrs. Black to chase me away now!"

"You have no idea."

"I have some idea, I think."

"Well, yes. I guess so. You have heard all about everything in my life."

"I like hearing about everything in your life."

A silence fell between the ten year olds.

"What are you thinking about right now?" Sirius asked the darkness.

"Golden eyes. Your new best friend has the most beautiful golden eyes."

"I'll check that out when I tell him of our new best friend status tomorrow. Poor kid probably had no idea what was coming when he saw tiny little you dance up to him."

"I don't know, he might of. He certainly looked scared out of his mind."

"Smart kid."

"I can still beat you, Sirius Black."

"Yeah, but I can kick you out of my bed."

"Fair enough."

"Will you tell me a story?"

"Sure, have I told you about _Eros and Psyche_?"

"Nope."

And she embarked on the ancient tale of Cupid and his mortal lover, Psyche. Her words spun a beautiful tapestry in the air around them. It wasn't just a picture are them though, it was another world that she created with her words. It did feel like the two were living the story as she softly whispered about the love story. He slowly slipped into sleep as she talked and when he awoke, her little, warm body was gone from his bed like she'd never come. He knew though that after the day was done, he'd hear the shuffling of little feet and she'd crawl back in so they could whisper about their day once more.


	4. Family

Family

**Sirius:**

It was only when she was gone that he realized how important she was in his life. She was such an elusive spirit, running in and out, that he tended to take her for granted. He knew she'd always be there after the sun slipped below the horizon. Except for times like now. She was gone for a week. It was only a week, it shouldn't be so bad.

She was visiting with her Tommy. That older wizard who had some incomprehensible claim on Casey. She once told Sirius a little about him. He'd come to the orphanage once a year to see if there were anyone there with magical abilities after he had left. He, according to Casey's glowing description, was a very talented wizard and thought that another such wizard would pass through the unremarkable doors of that orphanage. He wanted to be there to help them along. In all the years that he watched the children though, only Casey caught his attention with her wide eyes and her silver tongue.

So she was gone, and he was left in the desolate halls of Grimmauld Place. At least his cousins were visiting. Well, Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Drusilla were visiting, the three girls trailing behind like trained geese. He smiled when Annie gave him a cheery wave, breaking the solemn march that they portrayed.

How Casey would giggle at this show. He'd once thought that austerity of the Black Family was the most important thing to uphold. Now, after listening to her whispered stories of the world, he saw them as fairly comical. There was nothing in blood other than genetics. Wasn't Lily Evans one of the most talented witches in their year? She was a mudblood through and through.

Mother gave him a sharp look as he smiled while looking out the window. Smiling was a crime. It meant he was thinking, and who needed to do that? All you had to do as a son of the Black was stand tall and marry another pureblood girl. He stifled the smile at the thought of some of the girls he had been acquainted with in these past years. One good thing about being a Black was the beautiful genetics that made his school life very enjoyable. He couldn't help but grin at how James would scoff and assure his best mate that Potter's actually had much superior genetics and was really the better looking one. Maybe he'd add a hair flip to the action.

"Sirius" His mother hissed from across the room. She was perched in her green chair like a bloated vulture with her long nose and sharp eyes. She once might have been beautiful. She still had the vestiges of past beauty but she had let herself go to seed and the end result was less then appealing. "I am expecting perfect behavior while your Uncle visits. One step out of line, boy, and I will not be happy with you."

The echo of his father's belt slapping his skin swiped the smile off his face. His parent's hadn't been approving of him ever since he was sorted into Gryffindor. They thought petty socialist views were brainwashing their son. The little girl who came to visit fairly often was also discouraged. Her smile that brought to mind sunshine was not welcome in the somber rooms of Grimmauld Place.

"Good evening, Auntie." Bellatrix was the first to enter and dipped a curtsy to the older woman who didn't leave her chair. The twins bobbed curtsies behind their sister. Annie wiggled her eyebrows at Sirius and he saw her lips tweak as if she was hiding a smile. Annie was his coconspirator; ever since she had been sorted into Ravenclaw the same year he was put in Gryffindor. Cissy's eyes just followed Bella for direction.

"Uncle. Aunt" Sirius stood a fraction ahead of Regalus. So far so good. "Welcome to our house."

"Sirius you have grown into a handsome man." His uncle surveyed him. "How old are you?"

"16, sir." He answered hesitantly.

"Have your parent's talked to you about a future bride?" He asked. Sirius's blood ran cold in an instant. He was too young to have to face this inquiry. He was fairly pale anyways but he could imagine all the blood rushing from his face leaving him a ghost.

"Father, isn't he young?" Bella came up and lightly placed a hand on her father's arm.

"Do not question me, girl." He stiffly turned and with his other hand slapped her across the face brutally.

The air stuck in Sirius's throat in shock. Everything was happening to fast. Sirius took a step forward but Reg held him back subtly with a warning in his eyes. The blood that had rushed from his face was pounding in his head with a vengeance now. She hadn't done anything wrong!

"I'm sorry, Father." The beauty looked down at her feet but her back remained straight and proper. She had hardly faltered. "May the children be excused to allow the adults time to talk?"

"Go." He just waved an aggravated hand towards the door. Little Cissy was the one to flinch as his hand whipped through the air. Bella just watched her father with dark eyes, one cheek a flaming red.

As soon as the door shut behind them Sirius ran to his older cousin, "Are you okay, Bell?"

"I'm fine." She brushed off her cousin and sisters. "I deserved it."

"No you didn't, Bells!" Sirius grabbed her and made her face him. She might have been older but he'd grown tall in the last year or two. "He's an awful man with a superiority complex! You are a beautiful, intelligent girl! You don't need them."

"And you are just a child." She hissed glaring at him with dark eyes. He let go of her as an image of his mother took his cousins place. "You know nothing about being a good son. You make your mother cry every time she gets a letter from Hogwarts telling her that her baby boy is in detention again with a group of blood traitors and mudbloods."

"What do my friends have to do with this?" He demanded. Annie tugged his arm and tried to drag him away from the argument with Bellatrix.

"There is a revolution happening, _cousin._ And you are on the losing side." Dark eyes glared into a mirrored pair.

"At least I'm on the right side!" He was fairly shouting now.

"You've been listening to that imp who poisons your mind." Her voice didn't raise at all. "You know nothing."

"I know that your defending a man that just hit you," Sirius yelled back. "And that is wrong! You're perfect Bella! All he ever wanted in a daughter, and he still beats you. What chance do I have in this family? Fine. That's it! I'm done!"

And with that he stalked off. Walked right up the stairs to his room where he saw his things strewn on the floor and the Gryffindor hangings on the wall. He was not a true Black. Only in name. Or so he hoped as he shoved his things into a trunk angrily.

"Sirius?" The timid knock at the door made him pause. Andromeda.

"What is it? Come to yell at me for trying to help too?" His voice was sharp but he regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Annie hadn't done anything.

"You're really going?" She whispered and looked at him with eyes so like Bella's but softer than Bella's ever were.

"I'm going to my true family." He shoved another cloak into his trunk and reached for his books.

"The Marauders?" She sighed and fingered the picture of her cousin and his friends squinting into the sun and laughing at the tiny girl taking the photo.

He didn't answer. Just hurried to his closet and grabbed the things he thought he might need.

"What am I going to do without you Sirius? It's always been the two of us."

"Get out, Annie." He briskly answered and went to the window where he whistled for his pet owl. "Get out before they change you too. Break you, like they have Bella. When was the last time you saw her smile? Truly smile?"

"And abandon Cissy like your abandoning me?" She tried to keep her voice even but it caught half way through and the tears prickled her eyes.

In a moment Sirius had caught her up in his strong arms, "Annie. I love you. Never forget that. I just can't do it anymore. I have to save myself before I'm like her!"

"Bella's not that far gone!" Annie sobbed into his shoulder.

"The next time _he_ hits you, or Ciss. See if she comes to your rescue!" An owl alighted on the window sill and hooted shrilly. Sirius left his cousin to scrawl a brief note.

"She always saves us!" Annie wiped her eyes and hardened her voice. "Why would she stop?"

"She's got more important things than family ties now." He turned to the owl and tied the note to her leg. "Go to Dorcas Meadows. I don't know where she is but find her. I need her."

The barn owl hooted and flapped out of the room.

"Annie. I love you, more than anyone else in the bloody family. Please, don't let yourself be corrupted by them too. It's too late for Bella and Cissy follows Bells in everything she does. You're different. You're not a Black!"

"Yes I am!" She shouted at him.

"A Black never raised her voice in anger." He intoned but then stopped his mockery. "I'm sorry, An. I just can't do it anymore. Tell Reg good-bye for me."

He dragged his trunk down the stairs and left the house he'd called home since birth. He stuck out his wand and the Knight Bus careened onto the sidewalk beside him.

"What are you doing?!" The familiar hiss of his mother called from the doorway. He turned to see them all standing there. Anger in all eyes except for Andromeda's, whose eyes only held tears.

"Good-bye. Blast me from the tapestry mother. I am not a Black." Quieter he whispered. "_I never want to end up like you, Mother."_

He sat the entire bus ride to Godric Hollow choking back a lump in his throat and wiping at dry eyes. Where was she? When he needed her most she was with her Tommy. She was his guardian angel. The one who soothed him and told where to find the sun when the night was darkest. She had been old beyond her years as the six year old who had saved him with her fairy grace and haunting eyes.

"This is yer stop!" The bus driver called back to him as an attendant grabbed his trunk.

He stepped out and look at the well taken care of house nervously but when the door opened and James familiar head poked out with a bewildered grin, Sirius felt his face relax into the first genuine grin he'd given since he entered the subdued house of his ancestors.

"Think you could help a mate out and give him a room?" He gave the suave grin he was renown for and opened his arms for his best mates enthusiastic embrace.

**Remus**

They'd done it. After three years of research and preparation they'd done it. The spell for becoming an Animagus was so complicated that Remus thought it would never happen. He still glowed that they would try. Now, though, they were going through with it. Really doing it. For him.

His friends, who didn't hesitate at breaking any rule they came across, were taking the next step and doing something very very illegal. Remus knew he should tell them not to, but he know that Sirius would give him that arrogant condescending look and James would just ruffle his hair. It'd be Peter who'd state what didn't need to be said allowed. _We won't let you suffer alone. We do things together. That's what the Marauders do. _He'd grin like a fool up at his more somber friend.

_Friends. _ He remembered when the word alone made him ache for it. He'd changed so much from the scared boy who only lived between the pages of a book. All because of eyes you could drown in. He smiled the smile of someone who was loved; truly loved. He couldn't ask for better friends then these three. Sirius. James. Peter. He'd found his place as one of them.

They'd pestered him for nearly a year and a half about where he went every night. His excuses of dead relatives and sickness got old quickly. It was remarkable how long it took, really. With Sirius's cunning and James ability to see pieces and make them into a whole picture. Peter would have been in the dark for longer if not for the dark haired boys, Remus laughed to himself and leaned on the smaller boy in affection as they peered at the last directions written in an archaic book.

He remembered exactly when they figured it out. It was in the commons and Remus knew he looked terrible. It was still daylight but the moon would be full that night. He had rubbed at the bags under his eyes and muttered some excuse to why he had to leave them once more.

"Merlin's Beard Remus!" James had sighed and leaned back in his chair with a stretch. "Are you ever going to tell us what you do every month? Some weird moon ritual or something?"

That's when Sirius looked up from the book he was trying to levitate instead of read. He made brief eye contact with James who was then sitting straight up in his chair. "The full moon." They whispered together in realization. Peter just looked from one to another with his wide eyed innocence.

Remus knew his hands were shaking as he watched his friends figure out that he was a monster. His stomach had clenched and he knew tears were building behind his eyes. Even though he'd never cry in front of them. He wouldn't show them how much it hurt to lose them. It was just so hard. He had finally had friends. Friends who cared about him. He didn't care that they were talented, smart, and then envy of everyone in their year. All he cared about what that he finally had someone accept him. It was over now, though. Who would be friends with a monster.

Then they spoke again.

"Oh cool!" James burst out while Sirius leaned forward and asked, "What's it like to change into a wolf, like that! Do you, like, roam the Forest or what?"

That's when it hit Peter. Always a step behind the dark haired boys Remus thought fondly, "You're a werewolf!" He nearly shrieked.

James and Sirius covered his mouth as if they were in synch and laughed at the excitable boy.

Remus couldn't believe his ears. They weren't repulsed. They weren't going to throw rocks or stop talking to him. "You… you aren't… scared?" he stuttered as his knees gave out in relief. Luckily the chair he had just vacated was still behind him.

"Scared!" James laughed. "Are you kidding?" Sirius finished his thought. "We're jealous!"

"You shouldn't be." Remus's voice was barely audible. Instantly Sirius was at his side.

"Aw, come on mate," He patted the blond boys shoulder. "Don't be so hard on yourself. We won't tell anyone."

"It hurts, Sirius." He tried to explain. "Not only do people hate me for what I am, but the transformation is awful. Like every bone is breaking and my skin is being peeled away from me. It's not cool at all." That he directed at James who mirrored Sirius on his other side.

"You shouldn't have to do that alone, mate." James frowned and put a lanky around his shoulder.

"Yeah! That sounds terrible!" Peter piped up.

"We can't be there as people, right?" Sirius asked with a frown and crease between his brows.

"No!" Remus was standing before he knew it. The others laughed and tried to get him to sit down. "I won't let you, guys! It's not a joke. It's awful. I won't let you endanger yourself!"

"Cool it, Rem," Sirius laughed but the laughter was short lived as he went into his classic scheming mode. But this was a scheme like none of the others before, "There's a way to turn yourself into a animal. An animagus, remember?"

"Yeah, we learned about it in Transfiguration." Peter leaned in conspiratorially.

"Would you attack an animal?" James asked Remus.

"No.." He hesitantly answered.

"We could do it." Sirius looked at James for confirmation. James looked at Peter who was nodding vigorously, an excited glint already shining in his eyes.

Remus sat back in amazement as his friends not only accepted him without question but tried to figure out a way where he wouldn't have to deal with this alone. He'd always been alone. He'd screamed until his voice was raw in that little shack on the border of Hogsmeade, but if what they were saying was true, he'd never have to deal with it alone again.

His eyes stung as he smiled at three people willing to put their lives on the line, just so he wouldn't have to be in pain alone. Who could ask for better friends?

After three years of study and research, here they were. Four friends huddled over a molding book with stars in their eyes and a bounce in their step. It'd finally work out.

"I've got your potion," A female voice called from the dormitory doorway. "And I know what your doing with it."

Casey was leaning against the door frame fiddling with a vial in her hand. The liquid glowed an unnatural green in the shadowed room.

"Hey Cas, thank you so much!" Sirius ran forward and picked the little girl off her feet in a huge hug. "Couldn't have done it without you."

"No you couldn't of," She smacked the much taller boy and laughed. "This potion was a tricky little devil, that's for sure. You bumbling idiots would have probably poisoned yourself."

"Why focus on potions when we've got our own little amazing brewer right here!" James gave her his best smile, the one he saved for very pretty girls.

"Thanks Casey!" Peter ran up and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he tried to grab the potion from her.

"Not so fast, mister." She looked at all three of them with narrowed eyes. Those eyes studied each one and saw through their very soul. "I just want to say that I'm proud of you. Told you, Remus was worth it."

Remus felt his cheeks burn at her simple praise as she focused those drowning eyes on him. His stomach flutter more with her eyes on him than it did at the thought of what the three were going to do for him. "My lost boys." She smiled her crooked smile and tossed the vial to James who caught it with a Seekers skill.

"Well, except for you Petey." She tweaked his chin and kissed his cheek. "You didn't need collecting. You got a good family and friends besides this smelly pack of soon to be animals. You never needed me."

Even Peter looked down on the diminutive girl, but his eyes were large and sad as he pouted, "I can't be one of your lost boys, Wendy?"

"Well of course you can, silly chit." She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I've always loved you, Mr. Pettigrew!"

"Now that we've got Wendy's blessing, shall we commence?" Sirius laughed and turned to James and Peter who still had Casey tucked under one arm.

"Is this my cue to leave?" She laughed and skipped out of the room after pecking each boy on the cheek. Her kiss burned Remus's cheek as he waved at her retreating figure.

James, Sirius and Peter were looking at one another solemnly. They were really going to do it. They'd prepared. All they had to do was speak the last incantation and drink the potion. Then they'd be illegal Animagi. All for Remus. He held his breath as he watched grins break over his friends faces.

He couldn't help but silently thank the girl who had branded his cheek with innocent love. She'd given these friends to her. Sirius made that known cheekily the day he and the others came up to his beside in the hospital wing. His wrist was still healing as the three sat down and introduced themselves and began to chat. They had surprised responses out of the shy child and laughed at his jokes.

When they had left Sirius had put a hand on his shoulder and said, "She was right, you are a good kid." There was no need to articulate who _she_ was.

Now they were here. They were making a huge sacrifice so he wouldn't be alone ever again. If that wasn't love, he didn't know what was. He thought he might be glowing a little bit as he grinned back at his friends. He was so full of happiness that it couldn't help but shine out a little bit.


	5. A Letter

A Letter

Dear Sirius,

I'd ask you how you are but I don't want to know. I hope you're miserable. Your mother cried the day you left. I've never seen her so upset. Your brother didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the summer. Narcissa cries whenever someone mentions your name. Andromeda's hurt the worst though, she keeps saying you betrayed her. This is your legacy, Sirius. I won't even lower myself to call you my cousin. Your not. Not any more. Not after what you did. You are a monster. I hope you know it.

I'm only writing because I want you to keep that dirty mudblood you associate with away from Regulus. She's trying to brainwash him, like she did to you years ago. If she had only kept her dirty claws out of you, you'd still be my cousin. What are you now? Just some filthy blood traitor.

This is a dangerous time, and you should protect your brother even if you have sacrificed yourself. The Dark Lord is rising with a grand army at his back. Which I am part of.

You once would have listened to his speeches as I do. They stir my heart like nothing ever has before.

He articulates what we all feel. He exposes how we are a disgraced race in a world of people who should rightly be our slaves. We have such power and glory inherent in our blood. We should be proud of being witches and wizard, we shouldn't have to hide like criminals.

Our entire government is devoted to shielding muggles, I have no word ugly enough to described them, from knowing of our existence. If we could devote our collective energy elsewhere, can you imagine how great we could be?

Magic was worshipped once. We were considered gods. Until they became overpopulated and overturned our rule. Numbers can be beat though! Our ancestors were just unprepared! He talks about rising up and not being ashamed of who we are. Embracing our abilities instead of hiding them! Can you imagine a world where we could do magic anywhere? Anytime? Not having to worry if someone sees us.

He paints such pictures with his words. He speaks of freedom like I can barely imagine!

My family, yours no longer, will be exalted in this new world. An aristocracy over mudbloods and mixed breeds.

Sirius, can't you read these words and see the future he speaks of? Can't you see the truth in what he says! You are fighting for oppression. You are fighting for keeping the old way when it is detrimental to every witch and wizard born. I never thought you would be a Conservative where I am the Liberal. This is a revolution that I can devote my life to. I will do anything for this man.

If you'd only meet him, Sirius. You would come back to us. Your mother would forgive you. She'd smooth out the tapestry and rewrite your name. The twins and Reg miss you, Sirius.

I do, too.

He's breathtaking, Sirius. Not only is he handsome but intelligent and powerful. You can feel the magic in him when you stand beside him. He makes me feel hot and cold in one instant. And when he speaks! I can't put down on parchment what it's like to hear his voice reverberate with such passion. He really means this, Sirius. He is going to do great things! He reminds me of Father sometimes. He's difficult to please, only because he expects the very best of us. But when he is please! Oh Sirius, you have no idea.

I've devoted myself to him. And he favors me. He'll give me a smile when I've done something well. And he's only punished me when I've failed him. As he should. You've never understood owning up to your actions, but I have. When I have done something wrong, I need to repent and he gives me that repentance until I am absolved. He is greater than I could ever imagine.

Will you consider my words? I know you won't. You are too selfish to think about the magical world above your own life. But I will dedicate myself to a better future. I already have. If you get one things out of this letter. Protect Reg. He's too easily swayed. Always has been. Her poisoned words will kill him. You've always been stronger than he. Where you might survive, he will not. Keep her away from him. Please, Sirius. For the bond we once had. Blood is thicker than water and your blood, though you deny us, is _toujours pur. _

You once knew what duty to the Black name was. Remember it, if only to protect Regulus.

I still do not forgive you.

I never will.

You abandoned all of us.

Bellatrix Black

P.S. Your uncle is dying. Alphard has threaten to leave all of his money to you. Refuse it, if he does. That is not yours to take, Sirius. His property should remain in the Black family.


	6. Getting in Trouble

Getting in Trouble

Sirius:

Dumbledore's office was silent as he surveyed the Gryffindor students lined meekly in front of him. None of James' quips and sweet reminders of their neighborly connection would get them out of trouble today. Sirius has learned long ago how to hide a smile that threaten to expose itself. Essential knowledge in Grimmauld Place. He was using all of his knowledge now.

It had been beautiful. What had started as an idle lunch where Remus, Casey and James had been flicking peas at each other over forced conversation had turned into a food fight that defied imagination.

Sirius coughed to hide that laughter as he thought of that one little pea that had flicked too far and smacked Lily Evans straight in the forehead. The look on James face as he realized she thought he had done it purposefully was epic. It was even better when she grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes and upturned it on his head. From then on it just escaladed.

Food soon turned into jinxes and hexes and Snivellus came running with his gang members at his back. Somehow Hufflepuff got involved and then Ravenclaw. The dining hall had been a masterpiece of disaster when Dumbledore had finally entered and ended it.

"ENOUGH!" Was all he said, but it echoed through the hall and every student froze. Sirius didn't think he could have moved if he had tried.

And now the entire Gryffindor 5th year class was called into Dumbledore's office and being silently appraised by blue eyes behind half moon glasses.

"A fight." He finally spoke. "In the great hall. Over what, may I ask?"

"It was Potter, Professor!" Evans called out as if she'd been biting back the words since she had entered his office.

"No way, Evan!" Sirius interrupted before she had even finished.

"Lily, you were the one with the potatoes," Remus intoned quieter.

"Only because he threw peas at her!" Mary Macdonald yelled at Remus in response.

"That was an accident!" James cried out but Mary was already ripping into him. Sirius and Peter were right there to defend their friend, Lily and James jumped into the argument to add their two cents as well. Remus and the other Gryffendor girls couldn't help but join in until there was just an unseemly, and unintelligible chaos right under Dumbledore's nose. Only Casey sat in the middle and laughed at her friends bickering.

"Enough." The Headmaster's voice didn't echo this time, but it didn't need to. The adolescents quieted anyways. "I shall not abide this behavior. You are all intelligent and mature students. You just turn in a rabble of toddlers when put together for too long." His eyes twinkled at them from behind his glasses. "We are living in a time where we must bond together, not cause strife amongst us. Your punishment shall be decided by your head of house, but I think I am going to discuss cleaning the Great Hall without magic."

"Without magic!" James yelped.

"Yes, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore nodded at the indignant boy and as the students turned to leave, Dumbledore intoned, "Miss Meadowes, would you stay behind for a moment?"

Sirius looked at his friend who was still so tiny in stature quizzically. She shrugged in response and turned back to the Headmaster. As soon as the had left the room Sirius stopped James.

"Do you have the Cloak?" He whispered. "I want to know what's up with, Cas."

"Yeah," James reached into his bag and pulled out the silvery Invisibility Cloak, "We were going to head to the Kitchens after class so I brought it just in case. Wonder if it had to do with that hex she cast on my hair. Still can't make it lie flat." James laughed and ruffled his already tussled hair which was more ragged looking than before, Sirius had to admit.

He shrugged on the cloak and silently entered the room he had just vacated.

"… You've changed his very genetics, Miss Meadowes. That was not some simple spell."

"I just saw him ruffle his hair between spells and thought I'd ruffle it up for him some more, Professor. I didn't mean any harm."

"I know that, Dorcas. It's just, your wand was on the floor. Channeling magic without an instrument is very complex magic or very wild. When I first went to the orphanage to meet you, you showed me an impressive control over wild magic."

"Didn't I just tell you one of my stories?"

"Yes, but normally in young witches and wizards, magic only comes out with intense feeling."  
"Stories have intense feeling! What's a story without tragedy or anger or something intense."

"Yes. I'm just advising that you be careful, Miss Meadowes. Wild magic can go very wrong when it is not controlled." Dumbledore's voice was very serious as he looked at Sirius's fairy girl. Casey looked smaller than ever under the tall Headmaster's blue eyed gaze.

Sirius wanted to go up and grab her hand, but he didn't want to surprise her and give himself away.

"Do you still keep in contact with Tom Riddle?" Dumbledore asked. Sirius was confused by the change of subject. Why was Casey's Tommy involved?

"Yes." Sirius had never seen Casey's eyes so cold. They looked as hard as sapphires in her unusually somber face.

"Does he contact others through you?"

"No!" Casey was back to her passionate self. She went right up to his desk and leaned on it to impress her point. "I know what he says, and I don't agree with most of what he says! Don't blame him for what his followers do. Tommy's not a bad person, not deep in his heart. He's just got all of these ideas that he's caught up in, and he won't see reason. I don't help him. I just talk to him!"

She grabbed the locket that she perpetually had around her neck as if to gain support and looked up at the Headmaster. "He helps me, Professor Dumbledore. I've never been great at the whole wand waving part of magic, and he gives me pointers and helps me practice. He's like my brother."

"I'm sorry, Miss Meadows. I shouldn't be involving you in a conflict I have with another. You are right, please go back and join your friends. I know one at least is quite worried about you. If I may hazard a guess, I'd say it was Mr. Black?"

He coughed and smiled in Sirius's general direction. Sirius felt the blush rise up his cheeks as he took off the cloak and smiled sheepishly at the Headmaster. "I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

Casey laughed and put both hands on her hips in mock annoyance, "Geeze, Black. You'd think I couldn't go anywhere without you!"

"You can't, I'm always by your side." He grinned at her.

Casey laughed and shuddered, "Oh gods, if that were true!"

They laughed as Dumbledore shooed them out of the office. "What was that about?" Sirius asked his friend when they were out of hearing.

"Tommy had some friends that have been getting in trouble, lately. I guess that." She shrugged but the couldn't say any more because they ran into the rest of the Marauder's waiting outside of the Headmaster's office.

Remus:

_The weight of the sun's light on the Earth's surface is 2 pounds per square mile_

He could hear her voice in his head as he closed his eyes against the solar glare. The sun made the skin on Remus's face and arms tingle with a subtle but delicious feeling. The winter had been long, and now all he wanted to do was sit and feel the weight of the sun's light on his skin.

Too bad James was restless, Sirius's eyes were darting around at the other people in the small courtyard, and Peter chattering about how bored he was. This never boded well with the Marauder's. Some sort of mischief would certainly ensue.

The prefect badge hung heavy in his pocket, if only he could stand up to his friends; it was easy to calmly tell other people off when they were doing something wrong. It took much more to discipline the three next to him. They had sacrificed so much for him, how could he ruin their fun?

"Excusez-moi messieurs? I am to vizit Proffezeur Dumbledore. Could you tell me ze direction for his office?" A light voice with the windswept accent of the French asked the four loiterers.

They looked up at the speaker and all four were taken a back. The girl in front of them was stunning. Her hair was the color of moonlight and hung smooth and straight down her back; her face had sharp, aristocratic features and dusky purple eyes; and her long shapely legs were revealed by a short silken robe of pale blue that clung to her curvaceous body in a way to make the four adolescent boys drool.

Sirius was the first to recover. Standing up and give the French girl a smile that would melt butter. "Hey, Are you visiting here?"

James was right behind him with a muttered, "_I know Dumbly best, I'll help her!" _He stuck out his hand and gave a smile that could rival Sirius's. Sirius didn't look perturbed though, he always had an abundance of confidence when it came to pretty girls. "I'm James. James Potter."

"I am Aurélie Bovie." She was clearly amused as she smiled with one side more than the other at they're response, an appealing rose blush colored her pale cheeks and she looked up at them through long eyelashes.

Remus was still sitting in the sun, watching the dark haired boys lust after the beautiful foreign visitor. "Bonjour, Mademoiselle. Je m'appelle Remus Lupin. Pardonez mes amies, si vous plait. Vous êtes tres belle et ils sont tres bêtes."

Right away Aurélie became much more animated. Her dusky eyes lit up at the sound of her native language and she regarded the trilingual Remus with a pleased smile.

"Français!" She glowed and then quickly began to chatter away in the soothing language.

Remus asked her to slow down with an engaging smile, he wasn't that good at the language as of yet. The rosy blush graced her pretty features again as she more slowly talked to Remus. The other boys instantly stepped back and grinned silly smiles at their friend. Remus, though not lacking charm and beauty, was often out-shined by the handsome Sirius and charming James. He was not the avid skirt chaser that they were, as he was more interested in commitments than one night stands. When a girl showed preference for their quieter, golden eyed friend, they stepped back immediately. Even if the girl was as stunning as the blond in front of them.

"_Let me show you the way?" _Remus asked her and she nodded pleased, still talking away in her native language. Remus couldn't take his eyes off the happily chattering beauty. Or wipe the smile from his face.

He wasn't gone long before he reunited with the other Marauder's with an absurd grin across his face. "Wasn't she the most gorgeous girl you've ever seen!" He sighed and flopped down next to Sirius.

"I've seen better." Sirius grinned wolfishly at his smitten. friend.

Remus wasn't listening though, "She's smart and works hard! She's the Beauxbatons Headmistress's assistant and she was sent here to speak to Dumbledore! And I asked her if she'd like me to show her around after dinner, and she said she'd love to!"

"Moony is going to get laid!" Peter giggled and made sure he was out of smacking distance.

"I should hope so," James sniffed arrogantly but his eyes twinkled with humor. "I only let you have her because I knew it's been so long, Moony my boy."

Sirius was right behind me with all the arrogance a Black could muster, "Clearly if I had tried, she wouldn't have looked at Moony twice. You should really thank us, Remus."

Remus had hexed them before they could grab their wands and laughed as they fought of the bat now attacking their faces. Nothing they said could wipe the grin off his face. He had a date with a beautiful girl who had chosen him over Sirius, James, or Peter.

But then a thought wiped the smile off of his face, "Casey!"

Sirius froze as James and Peter looked up at Remus with interest.

"Casey!" He repeated, "She comes to give me a good night kiss almost every night. I won't be there!"

Sirius gave him a wolfish grin, "Where does she kiss you good-night?"

"The cheek…?" Remus hesitantly answered, his eyes narrowed in suspicion at his friends implications.

"_Aurélie_ will probably give you a kiss good night too," James grinned. "And if you play your cards right the kiss might be somewhere other than the cheek."

"Hopefully a fair bit lower," Peter cackled.

"Guys, I've been crazy about Casey for years. I think I fell in love with her the day I met her. I don't want to fuck that up!" He sighed.

"Then tell her," Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, but there was that calculating wrinkle between his brows. "Stop all of this unrequited love bit and tell her."

"She wouldn't believe me." Remus sighed. "This is a girl who professes her undying love to strangers on a daily basis. She'd just think I was playing around."

"Make her believe you." Sirius responded. "I bet if you put in the effort, you could do it."

"Yeah but do it once Aurélie gone, Moony!" Peter laughed. "Don't want to miss this opportunity."

"Took the words right out of my mouth, Wormtail." James laughed and patted the excitable boy on the back.

Remus followed there advice and met Aurélie in the Great Hall after dinner. They spoke, joked and flirted in French as they wandered the grounds of Hogwarts. Remus couldn't take his eyes of the foreign girl and took in every detail, every expression of her, his mind whirling the entire time.

Finally they ended up sitting by the banks of the lake looking at the stars shining above. Remus was searching the skies for the constellations that Casey had taught him better than any Astronomy class. He loved how she'd tell him the stories of the constellations and he could let himself get lost in her words.

He felt Aurélie lean on his shoulder and he put his arm around her comfortably. She was so close, he could feel the warmth of her skin near his and hear her heart beat. He breathed in deep and smiled when he realized she smelt of the wind and wildflowers.

"Will you tell me a story of the constellations?" He asked and wrapped her up in his arms, moving her so she fit comfortably against his chest.

She looked up at the velvety sky and her blond hair fell across his shoulder as her soft cheek brushed against his. "Do you see that arch of stars right there?" She pointed into the night sky. He assured he that he thought he knew what she was talking about.

"It's called Corona Borealis. Which means Northern Crown, it's the crown that Dionysus gave to Ariadne when he asked her to be his wife and make her a goddess." She sighed the story of the girl who was used by men and then discovered by Dionysus when she was at the end of her rope. As she told the love story of new beginnings and hope, her words began to paint the scene around the two stargazers. Remus could hear Ariadne's voice through the soft tones of the girl in his arms, he could feel her pain and see how she bloomed under the influence of true love. Remus smiled into the crook of her neck as he light traced soft kisses on her skin.

"Your stories are a magic of completely another nature, Casey." He whispered as he breathed in her familiar wind and wildflower smell.

She instantly scrambled out of his arms with an expletive ripped from her lips. "How long have you known it was me?" Aurélie's form shouted. "Why'd I go and tell that stupid story. You make me forget myself, Remus!"

"I knew before we had reached the lake, Cas." Remus laughed and looked up at the girl who he could recognize no matter what she looked like. "You're good Cas, but you have a way about you that you can't hide. You smile the same crooked smile, you walk with a bounce in your step when you think no one is looking, you even smell the same way. Casey, you have galleons of Polyjuice potion cooking in your dorm room, it's not like I haven't seen you transform into someone else. You love to do it."

"No one's ever caught me before! I've tricked James, Peter and even Sirius this way! How'd you figure it out!" She wailed.

"They don't notice you like I do." Remus shrugged and looked out at the lake, his golden eyes distant and a dark flush creeping across his cheeks as he avoided eye contact. "They don't like you like I do. When do you change back to yourself?"

She was silent for a moment as she studied the boy in front of her. How many times had she caught his golden eyes looking at her across a room, or smile that mysteriously wistful smile at her? She had always put it off as one of the quirks of the dirty blond boy she had come to love. Maybe she was wrong though. "Soon."

He looked up at her and smiled his golden eyes shimmering in the starlight, "Good. No matter how good looking you are right now, I like you the best when you look like you. Where did you learn french like that?"

"The orphanage used to hire immigrants all the time, I used to try and learn their languages." She gave him a hesitant crooked smile, he could almost see the freckles and the drowning dark eyes behind the alabaster face of Aurélie. Soon enough he didn't have to find her familiar quirks in another's face. Blond hair darkened into waving onyx locks and dusky eyes darkened into sapphire eyes. She was Casey once more.

"Good." Remus said again and stepped closer to her. "I don't know what's come over me, but I'm going to listen to Sirius – screw consequences. I wanted to kiss you for the first time looking into your eyes. Not Aurélie's."

Her eyes widened as he took another step closer and ran a calloused finger down the sensitive skin on her face. His fingers shook slightly but they were burning across her skin. She felt like she couldn't breath for a moment so silently gasped for air, leaving her lips enticingly open and her chin tilted up looking into Remus's face.

He was driven by confidence he didn't know he had as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. When she responded immediately his hands ran from her face down her back so that he could hold her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck and spun her fingers through blond curls, deepening the kiss into one of passion.

When they finally broke apart, looking intently into each other's eyes trying to find assurance, Remus breathless whispered. "I've been in love with you since you broke my arm, Casey. I just never knew how to tell you. Having you in my arms, even though you didn't look like you, was too much. I can't just let you go after that. I want you Casey. I love you."

Casey had never let words get in the way of articulating herself. She just flung herself back into Remus's arms. Only her toes were dragging on the dewy grass as he held her in his arms feeling her smile against his lips.


	7. Memories

Memories:

**Sirius**: First Year

He no longer cried at his mother's words or his father's belt marks across his back. He now just sat in front of a mirror in his room; hating the features that marked him as a Black. That sleek ebony hair that contrasted with his clear skin so well; those dark black eyes that hid his pain behind long eyelashes; the strong cheekbones and facial structure that marked him clearly as Wizarding aristocracy. If he could just change his features at will, he'd never have to be a Black again.

"Hey, beautiful." Her voice came from the window. She always saved him. "I never met a vainer boy."

She was perched in a the high branches of a tree outside his window. Her favorite entrance to his room. "So, I got this frantic owl pounding on my window, scaring the babies. So, here I am."

She made a quick leap to the window, his fairy flying in through the window. She was sitting on his lap in moments smiling into his face, "You are a lovely person, not because of this physical shell but because of who you are. You are the best friend anyone could have asked for, you are passionate and curious and fun. You are wonderful. And that is you. Not because you are a Black. Simple as that, baby."

She smiled like the world was wonderful and his back didn't have stinging stripped burning his skin.

When the world was black she came and showed him that there is a sun out there.

* * *

**Remus**: Second Year

Walking up from Care of Magical Creatures was always kind of a drag when the England rain was lightly sprinkling down on their heads. Chilling them but not raining hard enough for them to enjoy it.

"Hey boys," Her voice holds none of the tedium that Remus feels. She dances up to them and he wonders if she ever just walks.

"You are way to tall," She wrinkles her nose up at Sirius who is nearly a foot taller than her. "I told you not to grow anymore, and I think you've grown another head taller since the last time I've seen you."

"You saw me in class," He laughed and patted the dark head of his friend. "And just cause I'm not a midget like some people, doesn't mean I should be reviled."

"Reviled?" James laughed. "Been talking to Evans recently?"

"Been obsessing over her recently?" Sirius shot back with his wolfish grin.

"Hey at least I don't have a midget attacked to my side." James directed his mocking grin at Casey.

"Bean-pole." She returned looking at the lanky boy. She turned her dark eyes on Remus and decided. "You betrayed me too, Remus! You're just as tall as these two monsters. Obviously, Peter is my favorite out of you troublemakers!"

She danced out of Sirius's arms and into Peter's. His blue eyes twinkled and his full dimpled cheeks were creased in a smile. Peter always just glowed under her influence. They all did really. Remus looked at the smiles that Sirius and James gave their diminutive friend who was still shorter than Peter as she linked arms with him and told him just why he was her favorite Marauder.

* * *

**Sirius**: Third Year

The fumes from the potion being stirred in the cauldron in front of him reeked.

"Does it have to be so rancid?" He wrinkled his nose with distaste.

"Well, I'm sorry it offends your senses, Black." Casey replied just as arrogantly, "If you don't want any, you can leave."

"Pipe down, Sirius," James grinned at his best mate, "Before the beautiful, talented Ms. Meadows kicks us out!"

"Thank you again, Casey," Remus smiled from his bed where he was propped up watching the final stages of the Polyjuice Potion being created.

She grinned back at him, "It's really no trouble; good practice really. I screwed up my last batch something fierce when I tried fiddling with the ingredients. Got stuck in the Hospital Wing for a week after that one. I just thank you guys for letting me brew it in here. They girls always get antsy when I make creations in our dormitory."

Sirius remembered at the end of their first year when he found her counting up a measly collection of sickles and knuts. "_What are you doing?" _He had asked her. "_One cauldron isn't enough! I keep wanting to try different potions but I already got another simmering in my pot!" _He had rarely seen such a discouraged look on her face. It was surprising how long it took him to figure out that the reason she didn't just go and get another cauldron was because she couldn't pay for it. When he had surprised her with three brand new cauldrons for her birthday, she had never looked so happy. He was proud of himself that day. It was good to use his Mother's money to make someone happy for once.

"You're not _fiddling_ with this one, right Cas?" Peter asked peering at the slowly bubbling potion.

"Naw, better safe than sorry for you boys," She grinned and gave Peter a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she shooed them away and set to work adding the last ingredients.

She was a sight, really. Her dark hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun with wisps curling around her face and neck. Her features were narrowed in concentration and her eyes a pure, dark blue focused entirely on the potion in front of her. What helped was she only wore an over large button down shirt of Sirius's and little running shorts beneath. Otherwise, she was just barefoot and messy.

"If Macbeth's three witches looked like you," Sirius laughed. "I understand how he was both repulsed and captivated. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble."

She, without looking from the potion, flipped him off causally.

Remus was the one to look up with surprise in his golden eyes, "_Macbeth?_" He laughed. "Have you been breaking into the muggle literature?"

Sirius looked abashed. "Blame the girl. She leaves me books to read and expects me to be able to talk about them afterwards."

"I'm impressed, Sirius!" Remus laughed. "I didn't even know you could read."

It was Sirius's turn to flash a vulgar finger at his friend but laughed along with the other Marauders.

"Okay," Casey took a step back and inspected the potion before her. "That should do it."

The four boys hurriedly crowded around the potion that was bubbling sluggishly and looked the color and consistency of mud.

"Eww." Peter summed it up in one shudder, but his eyes were sparkling in anticipation.

"Now all you need is to bottle this baby up and put in a piece of the person you want to transform into," Casey wiped her hands on Sirius's shirt. "Good luck, kiddos."

She gave them each a kiss on the cheek and danced down the staircase before they could thank her. All the thanks she needed was seeing Dumbledore, followed by three fellow teachers, emerge from the boys staircase with a silly grin on his face. Dumbledore had never looked so decomposed. James, in the Headmaster's body, blew a kiss across the common room before scurrying through the portrait hole.

**

* * *

Remus**: Fourth year

He always knew when she was in a room. It was hard for him not to notice her luxurious long hair and the way people smiled when she was near.

Like right now, she was sitting beside that greasy twerp, Snape, and chatting amiably to him. He didn't understand how both Lily and Casey had a soft spot for the slime-ball. There was nothing redeemable in that kid, it seemed to Remus. He probably didn't deserve all the abuse that James and Sirius tended to give him, though some of it was warranted. He didn't deserve the attention of the two beautiful Gryffindors, though.

She planted a quick kiss on the pasty cheek of Snivellus and danced to the Ravenclaw table where she was hailed by kids in all different years. She talked to everyone she passed by it seemed. All Remus saw was the smiles she left in her wake.

She wasn't done though, she ended up skipping towards the Hufflepuff table as well. This time she even settled down in a chair. She sat beside someone that Remus hated even more than Snape. Amos Diggory.

He was pompous and boastful, and not that talented to begin with. James could fly circles around the Hufflepuff Keeper. And he didn't understand when the girls said he was so handsome. That was when he did the thing that made Remus's blood boil. The thing that made Remus hate him.

He slung and arm around the slender shoulders of Casey and whispered in her ear. Casey was never a giggler, but if she was this is when she would have giggled. He could see the faint blush on her cheeks as she grinned up at the infuriating Hufflepuff. Remus had to turn away when Diggory just started to kiss her in front of everyone. Had he _heard_ about manners?

"I don't understand what she sees in him," Remus sulkily stabbed a sausage and snapped at it.

"Who? What?" Peter looked up sleepily from his porridge.

"He's a babe," Sirius shrugged but his dark eyes twinkled with mischief. "And older and more experienced. I bet Case loves a guy who knows what he's doing, you know; stuff she might not do with more timid guys our age. You know, sex stuff."

"SHUT UP!" Remus looked like he was going to stab Sirius next. The three Marauders just laughed at their jealous friend. "She's 14! She's not doing _that_ with _him_! Right?"

"You know," James looked over at the engrossed couple. "That's the reason she's not a Marauder."

"Because she's got a Diggory attached to her face?" Peter giggled.

James laughed and ruffled his friend's blond hair, " 'Cause she has to many friends. We got each other above all else. She's got to many to care about."

"She loves us the most though!" Peter squeaked in her defense.

"Are you sure about that?" James laughed. "We're not her only lost children. She loves all of them too."

As if she knew they were talking about her, she left Amos's side and danced over to her own House table. She chatted with a few people down the line but she eventually made it to the group of four boys. Sirius passed her a full plate before she had even sat down.

"Thanks, sweetheart." Casey grinned happily before tucking into the meal.

"How's Amos?" Sirius grinned but his eyes were watching Remus's face instead of the girl absorbed in her breakfast.

She gave a half a shrug and with a slightly full mouth answered, "I'm getting bored, I mean you kiss better than he does, Black. You know, the sorting hat almost put me in Hufflepuff but said I had to much spunk."

She went back to her bangers and mash but Sirius got a wrinkle in his brow as he looked at his friend. Remus looked too, he hadn't heard this story.

She swallowed a rather large bite of sausage and looked up surprised at Sirius's questioning glance. "I didn't tell you this? Oh, must have slipped my mind." She grinned. "I once glamoured myself to look like that third year you were hooking up with. It was too weird though so I stopped pretty quick. You're like my brother. Gross. I went a bit farther when I pretended to be James' Ravenclaw booty call last semester."

James looked up in surprise, "You did what now?"

"I was curious was all!" Casey laughed and sat back in her chair, "All these girls were talking about you two and I wanted to see for myself. You didn't even talk to the girl, it's not like she or you noticed. No harm no foul."

"You ever kiss me?" Peter perked up, he was sitting right beside her.

She studied him with that crooked smile on her face. "Not yet." And with that lightly grabbed his chin and placed her lips over his. The shortest member of the Marauders complied with eagerness.

It was easier for Remus to hate Amos Diggory than to hate one of his best mates. But it could happen.

**

* * *

Sirius**: Fifth year

Every time he got a letter form Bellatrix, it made him so angry. He was fairly seething, not that anybody would notice. His Black composure was up as he sat at lunch and stabbed his food.

"Sirius," Casey grinned at him. "Let's go get you a hobby."

"What?" The three other Marauder's asked the question that first sprung to his mind. It just seemed very out of the blue.

She just grinned with her dark eyes looking past his defenses and grabbed his hand to tug him away. After finding himself ditching classes to follow Casey through the Floo Network, he found himself walking down the streets of London.

It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for. It was an old run down mechanic shop with ruined shells of cars and machines toppled against each other in the back.

"I know you like cars, and working on them and stuff…" She said, but all of a sudden the happy confidence that usually gives her such a bounce in her step was gone from her. She looked up at Sirius to see if he was at all interested or if she'd just led him on a wild goose chase.

He was trying to find a way to tell her that he loved her for the effort but he didn't think any of these cars would keep his mind off of his family when he saw _her._ She had clearly been neglected, and beat up. But her frame was still strong and beautiful. He didn't even say anything but just ran to her and looked her over. His fingers trailing along the metal finding details that his eyes would miss.

"She's perfect!" He breathed. "With just a bit of work she'd be gorgeous."

"A motorcycle?" Casey laughed. "Well I guess that works too."

"Mother would kill me." He grinned up at his friend. Well, that just sealed the deal. The motorcycle was his.

**

* * *

Remus**: Sixth year

Remus was reading but couldn't keep track of the words in the book. All he could think about was the warmth of Casey as she leaned on his side and studied for Potions class.

The others were sprawled out around them in various forms of studying. Or trying to at least. Sometimes it was difficult to ignore Sirius watching every girl that walked by, or how James was attacking his paper with doodles instead of the paper he was supposed to be writing for Transfiguration. Given, he knew that Remus would be done with it by the end of the night and then he could just copy his. James had always been good at paraphrasing so that it wouldn't look like he was cheating.

"Okay," Sirius snapped his book shut. Not that he had been reading it before. "I've got to meet Lucy Payne outside of her house." He gave them a grin that reeked of how proud he was.

"Be nice," Casey didn't even look up from her book. "Lucy's too sweet for you."

James just laughed. "Yeah Heartbreaker. She's too sweet for you, you should let me take it over from here."

" 'Cause you are so much better, Prongs" Peter grinned, his blue eyes sparkling.

"What are you going to do when your washed up and old, and can't smile your way into girl's hearts?" Remus laughed up at his handsome friend who was already making his way to the door.

"Probably marry, Casey." He grinned at the girl next to Remus. "She's the only girl who can stand me for long periods of time. Sorry, Mooney."

"As if I'd take you!" Casey frowned back at her best friend and leaned up to kiss Remus's cheek, "I'm happy here."

He didn't know if he'd ever felt happiness like the glowing warmth that she made him feel.

**

* * *

Sirius**: Sixth Year

Dumbledore had called Peter into his office. Alone. He specifically told the other Marauders that their presence was not needed and heavily warned against it. They were to be allowed to see him after though.

No one looked at one another as the waited silently outside of the Headmaster's office. The entire Gryffindor was there. This was not the first time people had been asked to talk to the Headmaster. They came out with horror stories and tears.

"Poor Peter." Evans sighed to her friends. She looked pale at the very thought of what must be going on in there right now. James looked up from across the corridor but didn't have the heart to say anything back to the red haired beauty.

Casey left Mary's side and went to Sirius. He opened his arms without even looking at her. She was so little in his arms, so fragile. She had always been the one to laugh in the face of angst and pain. She'd tilt her head back and let out that wild laugh of hers and point out the good side in everything, in everyone. She had no words now.

When the door opened, Mr. Pettigrew was the first to leave. The jolly, rotund man looked like a ghost of his former self. His skin had a pale, unhealthy sheen to it and his face a starved looked behind the plump skin. He turned to his son who followed listlessly behind him and hugged him close. Without a word he left Peter to his friend.

It wasn't his red rimmed eyes or his blotchy skin that pained the Marauders and other kids. It was that the sparkle in Peter's blue eyes was gone. Extinguished.

"It was me mum," His voice was soft and distant when he finally brought himself to talk. "She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, my sisters were with her. They were only six and ten. They were so little."

He didn't look at anyone, kept his eyes on the floor when he spoke those words. Morbid images capered in their mind's eyes of the destroyed buildings and the Dark Mark floating eerily above.

"Petey," Casey was the first one to rush from Sirius's arms and envelope Peter in her own. The others were just a step behind, as if she'd broken some spell holding them back from the mourning boy.

He couldn't hold it in anymore as the tears burst from his eyes and he clung to Casey like she was his only life line. Sirius's blood ran cold at the sight.

_The Dark Lord is rising with a grand army at his back._ She had said. This is what she means. This is what her deeds will reap. Even if she hadn't done it herself, she'll do something like it in the name of her _revolution_. Sirius was not easily upset. He had grown up with Black composure and it rarely failed him. When his friends were concerned, though, his hackles rose and all he wanted to do is show his bared teeth at the ones who hurt his friends. They were the most important people in his life, and he didn't abide their pain.

Sirius would do anything to get the sparkle back in Peter's eyes. If only he could. What would happen if the sparkle was gone forever?

**

* * *

Remus**: Seventh Year

It was Christmas of their last year. Mrs. and Mr. Potter had invited them for one last school break. All of them this time. The Marauder's and the girlfriends: Casey, Lily Evans, and Mary Macdonald. Only Sirius was without a girl to bring home, _None could beat Mrs. Potter for his affections_. He had told the older woman with a wink. She had waved him away with a chuckle and warned him not to be to smarmy, it was only attractive in the young and he was getting to be an adult.

Remus could see the real affection Sirius had for the older woman, though. She had been the one to open her home and heart to the runaway when he had finally left Grimmauld Place. She was getting on in years now; James had been her miracle baby, born late in life. And now the two dark haired boys fought like little children for who would assist her.

There was only one girl for Remus, though. And she was a fair bit younger than Mrs. Potter. He still couldn't believe that Casey had been with him for two years now. Everyday he loved her more. Even their fights brought them closer, and fight they did.

Remus was generally a mild mannered person who rarely rose his voice, but something about this girl stirred his blood until he was a person he barely recognized. He shut his eyes against the memory of their last fight, the words were lost but he still remembered her throwing anything in reach at him, and a couple of things that weren't in reach were magically flung in his direction too. Nothing actually hit him but some got pretty close. The memory lightened as he remembered the recovery. Sirius had told her that he'd gone up to the tower where she had first shown him what adventure was. When he saw her standing contritely in the doorway, her big drowning eyes threatening to engulf him even from across the room.

_I'm sorry, baby._ She had whispered. There was no other noise in the room and so he heard her clearly. _I love you._

He couldn't help himself, he ran to her with wild apologizes trailing behind him. The night had been a sleepless night of rejoice that the two could work out their problems.

These were not memories to be thinking about in front of the parents of one of your best mate's though. Memories like those tended to leaving burning evidence across Remus's cheeks.

"Go on, I don't want to see you before dinner!" Mrs. Potter was ushering the group of adolescents out of the house like a flock of geese.

"Where are we going?" Remus asked the girl by his side.

"Where have you been." She grinned that endearing crooked grin at him. "Professor Dumbledore's offered to have us for tea so that the Potter's could have a break." She squeezed his hand and danced up to James.

"So how long have you known Dumbledore?" She asked grabbing James's free hand. The other was busy entwined with Lily's.

"All my life," He grinned. "He'd be my sometimes babysitter, if you'd believe it. Though apparently he was never keen on the idea."

"Ahh, come in, come in!" Dumbledore hailed them from a rather modest looking house on the corner. "The tea's just ready. This is Bathilda Bagshot, she knows just as much about all of you as I do. She has an uncanny ability to get people to talk."

The witch before them was a motherly looking figure who embraces James fondly and shook each of their hands while taking them in with perceptive beady eyes behind large framed glasses.

It was very bizarre to see the austere Headmaster of Hogwarts puttering around a kitchen preparing tea. His blue eyes twinkled behind his half moon glasses as he poured them steaming cups of dark tea, "Lemon sherbet, anyone?" He offered.

Casey and James were the only ones to take him up on the offer. When he settled on the couch beside Lily and Sirius he smiled indulgently at the group.

"You really are a remarkable group. Troublesome, but remarkable," His eyes twinkled as he sipped at his tea, "You have been a most amusing group to watch grow over the years. The dynamics between you have been ever changing and difficult to predict."

"You predict our futures, Dumbley-dor?" James grinned. "What am I going to do with my life?"

"Hopefully much," Dumbledore gave James a smile. "I want to see many little troublemakers running around Godric Hollow. Maybe some with red hair?" He winked at Lily who blushed becomingly and looked at James with beguiling green eyes.

"I was surprised at the love between Ms. Meadows and Mr. Lupin, though." Bathilda grinned at the pair who sat across from her. Casey's hand found Remus's almost unconsciously. "I didn't realize how compatible you two were until Albus caught you in a compromising situation in the empty Charms classroom, he was laughing hard when he told me about that one. I always assumed that Mr. Black was the man for you. You've been caught in his bed plenty of times, am I right Ms. Meadows?"

Casey laughed at how informed and direct this old gossip was, "Nothing happened in Sirius's bed, I swear! We're just old, old friends who don't like to sleep alone. I still sleep there. My heart's clearly with Mr. Lupin."

"Please don't tell me these things, Ms. Meadows." Dumbeldore covered his ears, "I have to return to being your Headmaster at the end of the vacation, and that does involve keeping you out of Mr. Black's bed."

"Well that's okay," She grinned up at the Headmaster, "I've got another bed to go to now!"

He kept his hands securely over his ears but she had won a smile from the Headmaster.

Remus's cheeks burned at the flow of conversation. This was the man who once inspired awe and fear into a timid eleven year old; the man who gave him every opportunity in the world just by allowing a monster into his school. He never imagined having his love life be explained to this man. Luckily the topic quickly changed to baby stories of James.

".. Little tyke careening down these muggle inhabited streets on a broom that could barely lift off the ground, he must have been adding a bit of magical spurt to that broom because no matter how fast his parents ran they couldn't catch the laughing baby. Flew right into my daffodils. They've never been the same!" Dumbledore was leaving the others in stitches and James yelling at him to stop soon enough.

As they were leaving, Casey danced up to the Headmaster with a carefully wrapped present in her hand.

"Merry Christmas, Professor!" She grinned and then turned to Bathilda Bagshot with contrition in her deep eyes, "I didn't know you'd be here, Mrs. Bagshot. I didn't bring you anything, but if you are around I would love to give you something by the end of the vacation. You seem like a real character, I like you!"

"Mum's sending over our gift, Dumbley-dor," James hollered from the door, "Don't let her show me up! I'm still your favorite, right?"

"I have no favorites, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore winked at the grinning boy with his arm wrapped around Lily's shoulders. "You shouldn't have, Dorcas."

"It was nothing!" She grinned up at him as he unwrapped a sturdy pair of socks.

"Socks?" He laughed.

"I thought you'd get all sorts of scholarly stuff," She laughed with him, "But everyone needs a good pair of socks in these cold months. Even brilliant people like you, Professor."

His eyes twinkled at her but she didn't even see as she was already rushing to Remus's side and dancing off with her friends.


	8. Love

Chapter 7: Love

**Sirius:**

"Hey, Sirius" A third year called from the other side of the common room, "There's a girl out there demanding to see you."

Sirius grinned at his friends, "I wonder who it is who needs me so bad?"

"I hope she's going to bitch you out like Pepper Dela Cruz did last week, Padfoot my boy." James grinned right back at his friend.

Sirius stretched and causally strutted over to the portrait hole with pretty girls on his mind. So he was entirely unprepared for his red-eyed cousin standing in the hallway before the Pink Lady nervously.

"Annie?" Sirius breathed when he saw her. She looked up at him with a Black's dark hooded eyes and tried to smile. It trembled precariously though.

"Hey." She tried a little wave. It was the first thing she said to him since he ran out of his house two years previously.

They regarded each other silently with an awkward distance between them. Annie looked awful, the spunk that had always made her back straight and her head held high was gone. She looked defeated and pale. Her dark brown hair that he'd always liked because it wasn't a Black attribute was slightly disheveled but still hung around her face and shoulders flatteringly. Every detail of her was familiar to him, from the straight, full mouth to the hooded eyes that normally looked so much warmer in her face.

"Annie," Sirius took a step forward. She looked up with frightened eyes but didn't take a step back, "You shouldn't be here, Annie. If your father found out, he'd be furious. Or if Bella found out."

Andromeda's eyes starred at the ground as she clutched her body as if it would fall apart if she let go. "How'd you do it, Sirius?" She asked quietly. "How'd you leave us so easily?"

"Easily!" Sirius thundered and grabbed Annie by the arms, "Walking away from you and Cissy was the hardest thing I've ever done."

"You still did it." She muttered and looked at him with accusing Black eyes.

He turned from her angrily, "Andromeda, it's been two years since I left Grimmauld House. Why come now? I don't have to sit here and listen to this if your just going to attack me."

There was silence behind him, he hazarded a look cautiously and saw that she'd dissolved into tears. Andromeda had always been the strong one, she'd bare her father's abuse with righteous anger and never make a sound. An these were tears of desperation, an uncontrollable flow of despair.

Sirius was on his knees before her in an instant, pleading at her to not cry. "What's wrong, Annie? Please, don't do this."

"He proposed." She wailed and went on her knees as well. The weight of it knocked her off her feet, "He is so sweet, Sirius! You should have seen him on one knee with his heart in his eyes. I love him, Sirius! I really, truly love him. I didn't know what happiness was until he showed me. _I love him." _

Her cries were so plaintive that it struck Sirius to his soul. He could never abide seeing those he loved in pain. No matter what happened between him and his family, he'd always loved Andromeda.

"Annie, sweetheart," Sirius wrapped her up in his arms, "Don't cry, that's a good thing. You love him! What's wrong?"

Though, he already knew the answer. A Black could only marry certain people. And Annie had already been disgraced her first year at Hogwarts by being sorted into Ravenclaw. She wouldn't be forgiven for marrying outside of a prestigious pureblooded family. A Black is _toujours pur._

"He's muggleborn, Sirius." Her cry deepened until she was gasping sobs into his shoulder. The disgust in her voice was from generations of prejudice. "She told me it be okay to try it, I mean I liked him a lot. I thought it be fun, disobeying father like that by consorting with a mudblood."

"Wait, what?" Sirius asked his desperate cousin.

"Casey!" She cried. "She knew Ted liked me too. She set us up, practically. Said we'd have some fun and make each other happy. I never thought I'd fall in love with him. Sirius, I'm an idiot! Now what do I do?"

Of course Casey was involved. She treated matchmaking as a fun game and did it constantly. Somehow, her blithe whispers in the right ears always seemed to work. She'd set up Frank Longbottom with Alice and they were getting married soon. No matter what age they were, Arthur Weasley having trouble with Molly Prewett back when they were in third year and now Molly was expecting her second child. She'd even convinced Lily to give James a chance and now those two were inseparable. Why'd Casey have to go mettle with Annie, though.

"You love him?" Sirius asked.

"With everything I am, Sirius!" She sobbed but tried to get control of herself, pulling herself out of Sirius's arms.

"How much?" He asked and sat back on the cold flagstone.

She looked at him as steadily as she could. After a hiccup and a deep breath she met his eyes and answered, "I'd give up everything to be with him."

Everything. They both knew what that meant. She'd leave Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Regulus to be the only Black children. She'd say good-bye to her sisters and her fortune to be with this man.

"He better be worthy of you," Sirius gave a hesitant grin. "Tell him yes. Make his dreams come true, Annie. You'll go back at the next vacation and pack your things. You can move into my apartment whenever you want. We'll figure it out from there."

"Can I say good bye to Bella and Cissy?" She asked, the pain in her voice strangling Sirius.

Sirus paused before he decided to tell the truth. "Bella would just hurt you and Cissy doesn't want to hear it."

She looked at Sirius with eyes that represented everything he'd run away from. They were the same eyes as his mother. He'd never told her that, but he always saw Walburga's eyes in his cousin's face. Only Narcissa didn't have them. The warmth in Andromeda's eyes make up for it, though. Sirius's mother's eyes were cold and dark.

"Sirius," She looked up at him as she rubbed the tears from her face. "Thank you."

Those words had so much feelings behind them. So much hidden meaning. Sirius had always bemoaned the fact that Andromeda would refuse to look at him. Even when others weren't around. She had been his companion, his favorite cousin. She had left him just as he had left her. Only Bellatrix still talked to him, and that was only to leave scathing him scathing letters. He still devoured them, though. Hidden between her words were stories about the family he had left behind.

He waved as she walked back along the hallway before turning and stomping into the common room and facing down his fairy girl who looked confused at the ire in her normally composed friend.

"Mess with my life all you want, Case," He stood in front of her and lowered his voice so no one else could hear, "But leave my family alone."

"Your not the only Black who needs help," Casey's eyes were dark and hard as sapphires at her friend's anger. "I've stayed away from Reg, 'cause you asked me too. Even though he could have used someone to talk to. Your cousins all need me. I will not abandon them. Don't you ever order me around, Sirius Black!"

"You are not helping Andromeda." Sirius's lips were thin with anger, "She was just bawling on my shoulder."

"Did something happen with Tonks?" She sat up with her eyes wide.

"Yes!" Sirius was losing control of his composure now. "And now she's going to be blasted from that tapestry just like I was."

Casey looked at him with deep eyes that always saw past his composure. "You don't know if you did the right thing?"

Sirius sat down defeated by her intuition. She crawled into his lap and nuzzled his cheek her nose before settling her head down on his shoulder. His dark hair melted with hers as he wrapped an arm around her little body. "I just don't know if it's the right thing for Annie."

" 'Dromeda knows deep down what she needs to do." Casey whispered by his ear. "She's thought this through. She always thinks things through. She's just coming to terms with it."

Sirius closed his eyes and tried not think of memories of the three Black sister's arm in arm with identical smiles on three very different faces.

**Remus:**

At breakfast she placed an orange on his plate and smiled into his face. He grinned back. It was a prearranged message that meant only one thing; _The cave._

All of a sudden he was impatient for breakfast to be finished and his friends preoccupied. Casey looked at easy leaning back in her chair with Lily laughingly telling her that she's going to hurt herself one day.

Peter was the only one who noticed how Remus couldn't get comfortable in his chair as the clock slowly etched out just how slow time could take.

"You okay, Moony?" He asked and tried to smile at his friend but it didn't reach his eyes anymore. The happy innocence that Peter used to wear like a second skin had sloughed off leaving a deep sadness in it's place. He was the one who was the most affected by the war and it left it's marks on the plump boy.

"Yeah, I think I just need to go for a walk," Remus clapped a hand on his friends shoulder and stood. "I'll see ya later."

The others all waved to Remus as he wandered off.

"Well that was weird." Casey grinned at the group.

"He's your boyfriend!" James grinned. "Still weird to say that."

"And you and Evans _actually_ being together, isn't weird?" Casey laughed and blew a kiss. "Maybe I should go check on him."

"Mmmm yeah," Sirius laughed his barking laugh. "_Check_ on him."

"You're just jealous." Casey stuck out her tongue as she danced away from the table.

"You still sleep in my bed, babe." He called out to her retreating figure.

Remus was waiting on the other side of the door listening to the conversation of his friends. "You got away!" He smiled at the girl with drowning dark eyes. His girl. He still couldn't believe it.

She grabbed his hand and rushed out the door. They had the whole day to themselves. Something that rarely happened in the halls of Hogwarts. That's why they leave these wise halls and go to the place that is solely theirs.

Remus smiled when he thought about the cave and all the memories that it involved. He had discovered it one full moon night and vestiges of the place still haunted his human mind the next morning. He found it and it was still just as lovely as his memories.

The mouth of the cave was right on the lake bank with a small stream dribbling into it's depth. It didn't look like much from the outside, just a wet, rock hole. When you ducked under the first barrier though, it robbed you of breath. Or it had Remus when he had first entered the stalactite haven. Natural light reflected on the pale limestone making the whole cavern glow with a beautiful pearly light. It was a natural place of beauty that Remus loved on first sight.

He loved the Marauder's, but knew that the others didn't appreciate nature like he did. Life was to fast and hectic for them, they didn't understand the slow appreciation of good things. Sometimes Remus felt like he was born in the wrong generation, for sometimes he loved to just sit and absorb the beauty of the natural world around him.

It's one of he reasons why he'd always been fascinated with Casey. She'd be chatting away like any adolescent but then be distracted by the subtle grace of a butterfly and she wouldn't be seen for the rest of the day. If he appreciated nature, she loved it.

He'd shown her the cave in their fourth year. Only two months after he had discovered it on his own. He didn't know what convinced him to do it, either. He was sitting looking out at the lake one winter evening when she'd come out to sit beside him. She didn't say a word just opened the window so she could feel the chill of the winter air. "Want to see something cool?" He'd asked her. "No, I think I'll pass on that." She sarcastically grinned at her friend.

She was surprised when he told her to go her winter cloaks though. But she had gamely done that and followed him through the darkening evening to the cave. When he saw her breathless and wide eyed, though, he knew he had done right.

"How'd you find this?" She asked in bewilderment as she ran around the cave discovering new beauties around each corner.

Remus shrugged and looked at the ice covered lake spreading by his feet. "Meh, just wandered by I guess."

"You've never been a good liar, Mr. Lupin." Casey frowned at him with laughter in her dark eyes.

He shrugged with a grin. "It's a fault that Sirius and James have been trying to rectify since they met me."

"Don't get to corrupted by those two." She had laughed back. "Have they been here?"

Remus's breath hitched in his chest. He hadn't shown them. Why? He hadn't really thought about it but they would see it and defile it with their ennui. He knew it before he could think it through, "No.' He shrugged eventually.

"Good." She grinned at him with her mysteriously dark eyes. "Let this place be our place. Just me and you."

"You're going to keep a secret from Sirius?" He had asked incredulously.

She had thrown up her arms in disgust, "I don't tell him _everything!"_

He looked at her with disbelief. When those two forgot that others were around, it sounded like they were speaking another language. One didn't need the other to finish a sentence before they knew what going on. Sometimes they'd just look at one another and it would seem as if a whole conversation had passed.

She had danced up to him and frowned up at him. He always forgot just how little she was until she was right in front of him. "I'll tell you something, I've never told him. Something big too!"

"Oh yeah?"

"But you have to tell me something in return." She demanded with narrowed eyes. He looked at the crooked grin on her face and knew deep in his soul that he couldn't refuse her anything.

"Fine!"

She took a breath and settled down on bit of rock. "I have a crippling fear of being left alone, of being abandoned." She grinned up at him but her eyes were no longer smiling. "Stupid isn't it? But it's one of the reasons I end up in Sirius's bed every night. It's worst at 3 o clock in the morning."

He settled beside her. "That's not stupid at all." He had put an arm around the slender shoulders of the girl he was madly in love with, even then. "I'll promise you right now that I'll never abandon you."

She linked pinkies with him and grinned her crooked grin. Her dark eyes were so beautiful. "Now, you have to tell me that secret that you've been hiding from me since I met you. I've got some ideas, but I want to hear you say it."

His blood ran cold and the arm casually draped across her shoulder froze. She knew about his affection. She must. That's what she was talking about, right? When he looked into her guileless eyes though, he realized she did not have seduction on her mind. It was the _other _secret she was asking about. He always made her feel like a normal person. Sometimes he forgot that deep down, he was a monster.

He extracted the arm and refused to look at her as he admitted what he was. It was the first time he had actually said the words allowed to anyone. Strange as that was. The teachers all knew because of his parents, the Marauder's guessed… He wouldn't tell anyone else really. Only this perceptive girl with eyes you could drown in.

When he finally looked up at his silent friend, he realized she was smiling that crooked smile at him. She snuck her fingers into his until they were holding hands. "I already knew that." She winked at him. "I just wanted you to say it."

The cave was a place of secrets revealed and honest talk. It's where the two really got to know each other by playing in the shallow, murky water and talking about anything that came to mind. Sometimes they'd sit for hours in silence. Lately, silence has been more prevalent, but that's because mouths and tongues were kept busy doing other things.

When he entered, he took a moment to absorb the beauty of the place. It never tired him. He never took it for granted. It was a beautiful mysterious place of contrasts.

"Can you believe that we have a few weeks before we will graduate Hogwarts forever?" She sighed and settled down on the blankets that they had scavenged over the years.

He settled beside her with his mind in the future. "You'll start Auror training, and I'll start my assistant job in the Ministry. We'll be adults."

She was silent for a moment and then asked quietly, "Will we still see each other?"

Remus looked in shock at the girl next to him. "Well that's a silly question!" He laughed.

"No, seriously Remus." She propped herself up on her elbows and looked into his golden eyes beseechingly. "I don't know the future. I don't know what to expect. I've always lived in some sort of institution and I don't know what next year is going to be like!"

He couldn't take the worry in her eyes and kissed her deeply. "Dorcas Meadowes,"

"Don't call me that," She muttered but it had won a grin from her. A slow grin that she saved for only him. It wasn't crooked at all and it made his stomach twist and melt in the same instant.

"You will have me by your side until you order me away for the ten thousandth time. I can pretty persistent when I want something. And I want you."

"As if I'd order you away," She laughed and flopped down on her back, but the worry was still creasing her forehead.

Remus grinned and leaned over the resting girl and settled himself over her so he was looking down into her face. She smiled back and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Dorcas Meadows –"

"DON'T!" She wailed.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Remmy."

"I want you in my life forever. Screw all that happens. I don't care that I will probably be poor all my life, that I turn into a monster once in a while, that society will shun me for my whole life if they knew what I am. If I have you I will be happy. So I am going to be entirely selfish and ask you to be dragged down with me. Love me back and stay with me through anything that might happen?" He was smiling as he nuzzled the place her hair began to grow on her neck.

"You are the least selfish person I have ever met, Remus." She giggled at his administrations. He was so proud that he could make her giggle. She normally wouldn't be caught dead making such a simpering noise.

"Marry me, Casey? Will you be mine forever?" He stopped nuzzling her and looked deep into her dark eyes. They widened in shock and she sat up forcing him back away from her.

"What?" She demanded.

He tried to smile but he had never been more serious in his life. "Not right now, or right away. I'll propose properly one day with a ring and a romantic location. I just am asking for the knowledge that one day you will promise yourself to me in a white dress in front of our friends and family. I would marry you tomorrow if you'd let me. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I want you to be mine forever."

She looked at his sincere golden eyes in disbelief. She didn't say a word for the longest time as she listened to his speech.

He clearly was growing nervous as she stayed silent after he finished talking. He was about to open his mouth to say something more when she leapt forward. For such a little person, she had quiet the powerful pounce when she needed to. She knocked him right onto his back with her arms twisted around his neck and her body laying on his. The smile on her face was the sweetest smile she had ever had cross her face. She had never let words mix up her message, so she just kissed the golden eyed boy with a passion that told him how she felt clearly.

He had never been happier.


	9. Last Midnight Visit

Chapter 8: Last Midnight Visit

The door barely made any noise as she snuck into the room with barefeet, she'd always been good at making little noise. Sirius rolled over and made room for her without opening his eyes. The routine had become so commonplace that sometimes he didn't even wake up.

"You awake?"

"Mrmmph"

"Good."

"You okay? You sound distracted."

"This is our last night here, Sirius."

"Tomorrow is our last night."

"Tomorrow you've organized the last Marauder bash. You're not going to be asleep."

Sirius laughed and snuggled closer to her. "It's going to be epic, so I better get some sleep tonight, fairy girl."

"Everything's set?"

"Yeah, Prongs and I flirted with Rosmerta down in Hogsmeade for hours until she caved and sent a dozen bottles of firewhisky and two kegs of hard butterbeer to the kitchens. Wormy's going to bring 'em up with the cloak tomorrow during lunch, while Prongs causes a disturbance."

"A disturbance?"

"I think he's gunna rely on the good ol' streaking trick of his."

"That boy loves to get naked." Casey laughed.

"He's always loved to be the center of attention. Moony's going to set up all the silencing wards and allusions so that even if any of the teacher's come into the common room, they won't see all the liquor. It's good having a kid who listens in class around."

"Sounds fun."

"Then why does it sound like you are going to a funeral instead of the most epic party we have ever organized?"

"No reason."

"Aww come on Cas! I tell you every worry that comes into my head. Fair's fair. Spill your sorrows, imp."

"I just, I don't know. I'm scared, Sirius."

"_You_ are scared?"

"Kinda terrified."

"What could possibly scare you Casey? We finally get to go out on our own! We get to make our own rules and be adults. You're future all set, and wonderful. You've got Auror training ahead of you, which is a perfect job for you. You've got a boyfriend who worships the ground you walk on, an even better roommate and best friend." At this he gave her a cheeky wink and kissed her cheek. "Prongs and Evans are getting married! What more could you ask for?"

"You're not scared at all?"

"Well of course I am!" He laughed. "But the excitement just drowns it out."

"I can't seem to get excited about anything, Sirius."

"Casey, you get excited when a first year finds his way to the Great Hall for the first time. I've never seen you not excited about something."

"I can mimic it perfectly, I've always been able to do that. But really, truly inside? Not even a flicker."

"I've never understood how you can hide your feelings like that?"

"Just 'cause you wear your heart on your sleeve, doesn't mean we all do. If I'm happy all the time, no one needs to see the questions that build up inside of me."

"I do. You're not perfect Casey, even if you pretend to be."

"I don't want to be perfect. I just want everyone to be happy, and that gets harder and harder. With the disappearances, and deaths, and mistrust…. Remember when you could just smile at someone and then they'd be your friend?"

"That was always only you, Cas. It takes a bit more for the rest of us to befriend humanity."

"Well, I can't anymore! People don't believe that I just want to talk to them, help them. They think I have an ulterior motive."

"You were born to be a mother, Casey. You've had enough practice taking care of us lost children."

"I will never be a mother."

"Wow, Cas. What is up tonight?"

"I won't Sirius. What if I'm just as bad as my own mother."

"I thought you didn't know your mother?"

"I was two years old when she gave me to the orphanage because I caused to many problems. She said that I was plagued by a poltergeist, 'cause weird things kept happening around me."

"It was just your magic coming out! You started young, eh?"

"Apparently. And I will never be in the position where I can't except my own child."

"Poor Moony, he'd be great with a couple of cubs running around his befuddled feet. Aren't you even going to ask him what he thinks?"

"Remus was the worst mistake of my life."

Sirius was silent at these words. He turned Casey's face up to his to study her face. He was unprepared for the unshed tears in her overlarge eyes. They'd never grown entirely into her face.

"I love him." She defended herself. "And that's the mistake I made, Sirius. Don't get me wrong. Remus is incredible. Beyond incredible. I love everything about that boy. From his golden eyes to his pure heart. I am the luckiest girl on earth, and I don't deserve him."

"Casey, you absolutely do. I mean, you're good enough to be my best friend."

"Minus James."

"Not even minus James. Prongs is still my best friend. He's more of a brother than Regulus ever was. I love you just as much as that joker. Why are you quesioning you and Moony, Casey? I thought you were happy?"

"I _am _happy!" She quietly wailed. They still had to keep their voices from the three other sleeping bodies in the room. "Unbelievably so. What happens if that goes away? Where am I then? What if he leaves me? Everyone leaves in the end. I tried so hard to keep myself from that hurt. I just forget myself around him, Sirius."

"Casey, you are the one who lets everyone into their heart. What are you talking about when you say that you keep yourself from people?"

"I rarely let anyone in more than superficially. They let me in, but who really knows my inner thoughts? You just don't notice because I was six when we became friends. Even you get blinded by my shell instead of seeing the faults beneath."

"Your right. I always forget you are more scared of people then I'd ever believe. It just seems so counterintuitive when 90% of Hogwarts considers you a friend."

"Only 90?" She tried a grin.

"Meh, maybe 95%. Casey, Remus isn't going to leave your side without a fight."

"How do you know that? I've practically abandoned the one person I always thought was going to be in my life. How do you know how things are going to fall?"

"Tommy?"

"Yeah, Tommy. I couldn't agree with what he was doing. We got into such fights about it. I used to write him every week, and now I haven't written since December."

"I always wondered if he was a Death Eater. You say things sometimes that imply it. Am I right?"

"Something like that, I try not to know the details."

"Do you think Wormtail's right? That's we should join this Order?"

"The Order of the Phoenix? Yeah, I do. Especially if it will help Peter. He's never gotten over his family's death. It will help him be less scared of the Death Eaters if he can actively fight them."

"I hope so."

"Yeah."

"Casey? Are you scared about me leaving you?"

"No."

"Good. 'Cause I won't."

"I know that, babe. You need me just as much I need you."


	10. Bound Together

Chapter 9: Bound Together

**Sirius**

Sirius rubbed the sleep and effects of the night before out of his eyes. He smiled a tired and tentative grin as he thought of James's last night as an unmarried man. It wasn't the typical girls and liquor of a normal bachelor party. They decided to make it a Marauder Night. Just the four of them. Like old times. Surprisingly, it was James who was cautious about the idea.

When Sirius came bounding into the little cottage in Godric Hallow, with plans and excitement flashing in his eyes, James stammered an "I don't know." Sirius was bewildered. That was much more of a Remus response than a James one and it left Sirius speechless. All of the boundless energy and fervor that he had coming into the house was extinguished.

It was Lily who laughed and ruffled Sirius's hair. "Aw, James you made his tail stop wagging."

James just looked at her with a question in his eyes. "Go." She told him with a soft smile. "You've got me for the rest of your life, Mister. You can have your night with the boys. I'm sure I can figure something out."

All of his excitement came back when James met his eyes, that wicked grin already spreading across his face. "Permission? Really James? Merlin's Beard, Lil, I don't know what you did to that boy but you've got him pussy whipped bad." Sirius grinned at the two.

"Shut your trap, Padfoot." James grinned but his eyes looked at the woman he loved with a softness Sirius only saw when Lily was in the room.

They had a great night. Good old fashion Marauder fun. He was just glad that they weren't answerable to Dumbledore anymore. He stood up and dressed slowly, making sure not to jostle his soar and aching head.

When he came downstairs he saw Casey nursing a mug of coffee with a scowl on her face. "Hey, hey missy. You look like you had a rough night."

"I forgot that Lily Evans can drink like a tank and gets really pushy about you keeping up with her." Casey growled and eyed her coffee like she mistrusted the content of her cup.

"Girls night out, aye?"

"Girls… guys…. A Yeti." She murmured and the faintest shadow of a smile flickered across her face before she winced and went back to the more expressive scowl. She then looked up at him with shadowed eyes and asked, "What about you? Marauder's Night went well? No broken arms or black eyes for the wedding, right?"

"Eh, Moony lost an eye and Prongs is paralyzed from the neck down. Lily's going to be pissed."

Casey gave her housemate a indulgent smile, "Ah what a shame. Remus has such pretty eyes. And what is Lily going to say when she finds out her husband-to-be can't raise an arm or any other useful parts of him."

"She'll probably take it out on me." Sirius sighed.

"She'd probably be right about it being your fault." Casey stood up painfully and kissed Sirius on the cheek before grabbing her wand, "Well, I better get going. Lil said she wanted me there by 11."

"Cas, it's 12 30." Sirius looked at the clock on the wall.

"I'm still bitter about that last bottle of fire whisky she poured down my throat."

Sirius tried to grin at the already gone Casey but the crack of her Disapparating spell made his head ring in funny ways. He'd see her later though. She wasn't in the wedding party but was one of the first on the list of guests. She'd be there and help Lily get ready too.

He slowly went through his morning ritual, which included an extra long shower and some pain relievers, before dressing in the becoming dress robes he had bought special for the occasion. He smiled before heading out the door to Godric Hallow. This was going to be a beautiful day for James wedding.

It was all they hoped for. A day to forget that the world was at war. A day to focus on the good in life. That people still fell in love. That people wanted to celebrate it.

He smiled as he thought of the two of them. Lily and James. It still seems hard to believe. How many times has he seen Lily look at James with only disgust on her face. She liked _him_ more than she had liked James. Well, that wasn't entirely true. The reason she was so hard on him in Hogwarts was because she wanted him to be better than he was. She didn't abide his failings. And James, dear mate that he was and is, had failings.

Would he ever be in James spot? Eagerly waiting for the time to announce to the world that he was someone else's for life? He used to joke that once he was done playing around, he'd just marry Casey. He thought about the girl who had been part of his life for as long as he could remember.

It was never romantic. He'd always laughed about her boyfriends and lovers. Even Remus didn't seem a threat. She'd always be his... right? He knew that Remus was more then just a casual lover. The amount of times that he'd woken up and found the two of them at their breakfast table attested to that. Sirius just liked the chance to hang out with Moony as well as Casey.

When he arrived at Godric Hallow the rest of the gang was already there. He only had to look at James to realize the power of love. His eyes had a light in them that he'd never experienced before. No pre-wedding jitters for this boy.

They dressed while joking about James sad fate. The grin that spread across his face, betrayed his feelings about the matter. Eventually they heard a resounding crack of someone Apparating near by.

"Boyos!" Casey familiar voice called. She skipped into the room resplendent in yellow dressrobes. They were tight fitting and flowed down in a silken shower of sunlight around her tanned legs. "Time to go!"

They four Marauder's lined up for inspection. A long ago habit, of having her primp them up last minute. She went down the line and started with Peter.

She smooth his hair out of his eyes and kissed his cheek, "Peter, my love. Be happy on this wonderful of day. Let the shadows fall from your eyes and see how beautiful the world can still be."

She went to Remus and smiled up at him with a slow smile she saved just for him. She straightened his tie and whispered in his ear. Sirius only heard because he was so close, "Soon Remus."

When she stood in front of Sirius her composure left and she grinned a very silly smile at him. "I can't wait to see the girl that catches you, Mister Black." She told him to tie his shoes before then moving on to James.

"Lily is a lucky woman, James Potter." She hugged him close and then began straightening his clothes. Taking more care on him as she continued. "You out of all the lost children, is the strongest and sweetest. Remember your parents on this day. They'd be proud. I love you, James."

She finished and shuffled them along. Remus tucked his hand in Casey's as Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "What would we do without you?"

"Be slobs." She wrinkled her nose up at me. She had a daisy tucked behind one of her ears. Almost lost in the dark waves of her hair.

Remus:

The house they were using as a meeting spot was right in the middle of London. Almost the entire Order of the Phoenix was to come that day. He smiled as he thought of the Order. It was one of the bright lights in his life that kept him from the dark. He thanked Peter everyday for the idea of them all joining. Well, maybe not everyday. Sometimes Order business seemed rough and brutal; necessary though. Everyday there were more rumors of the Death Eaters and the man who called himself Lord Voldermort.

He turned to express his feelings to the two he came with and found them turned away from him, holding hands. The fairly familiar rip of pain that he called jealousy ripped through his chest. Casey's knuckles were white around the joints she was squeezing Sirius's hand so hard. Otherwise her face was nearly passive. Sirius wasn't saying a word but the worry on his face made Remus nervous.

"Casey?" He tentatively asked. She ripped back from Sirius as if he had burned her and gave him a bright smile. Her now listless fingers fluttered up to her collarbone and wrapped around the locket she wore around her neck.

"Old memories," She shrugged looking beyond him to the crowd that was already forming. She made her smile even brighter before brushing by him and beginning her customary rounds, saying hello to everyone in the room.

Remus just stood silently watching her make her way further and further away from him.

"Hey mate," Sirius saw the hurt in his golden eyes and as always in his brusque way wanted to make it better, "Don't worry about it. The orphanage she grew up in is down the road. Heck, the prison I grew up in is right around the corner."

"Oh." Remus shrugged. He didn't want to admit it, but he kind of wanted to shrug Sirius's companionable arm off of his shoulder.

"You know, Moony." Sirius ruffled his friends shaggy blond hair. "The only reason she runs is because she's afraid of losing you. That is one self conscious girl you stole the heart of. She loves you, man. Don't you ever forget it."

Sirius patted his shoulder one more time before sauntering into the rapidly filling room. Remus sighed and followed his friend.

He couldn't grasp the happiness that he had when he first arrived. He just kept catching glimpses of her chattering happily with other people. Once he caught her gaze from across the room and the shadows in her eyes were clear. He couldn't even smile at her. She just bit her lip and turned away once more. It didn't help that she was just as clearly avoiding Sirius as she was him.

He didn't want her to avoid him. He wanted to be the hand that she grabbed when echoes of painful memories grabbed her. He wanted to understand why the orphanage made her normally indomitable figure shut down. Sirius knew. He got that much by the empathetic pain he saw on his dark haired friend's face.

That's what hurt the most. He didn't even know why she had shadows in her eyes. Every memory she'd told him of the orphanage was one of a fairly happy, quirky childhood. The kind of childhood that a girl like Casey had to have had. One full of strong willed figures coming in and out periodically; Of immigrants who barely spoke English; Of getting in trouble for wandering away from the orphanage grounds because she got distracted by something beyond the limits. He knew she feared abandonment, but why would the orphanage recall such pain as that? Who abandoned her… Who had she abandoned?

It was driving him down slowly. He ended up sullenly sitting in between James and Lily. James kept trying to draw Remus out of his melancholy while Lily quietly petted his dark blond hair. A couple of people tried to make conversation as they waited for Dumbledore to arrive and begin the meeting. He knew why most werewolves abandoned society and were shunned by others. Even when the pull of the moon was weak, the animal that took over was still inside of him. Remus spent years controlling himself but the beast inside of him was clawing and howling for blood inside of him. His anger fueling all his primitive emotions.

In the end, even sitting mutely between friends was too much and he excused himself to go to the washroom. He had barely touched the doorknob when he was pushed into the small room and followed in.

He barely had time to turn around and see who it was when she buried herself in his arms and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Rem. I'm so sorry."

All the anger that had been building up inside of him was soothed by the smell of wind and wildflowers. Instead his eyes watered up and he sat on the toilet seat so he could face Casey.

"I just… I don't know, Cas! You can't run like that."

She saw his tears and instantly cuddled up to him, sitting on his lap. She grabbed his face and kissed him fiercely. She looked deep into his eyes and tried to give him a crooked grin but her mouth was trembling and it came out a little half hearted.

Remus brushed a finger across her lower lip and took a more serious tone, "Casey Meadows. You promised me forever, if that means an eternity of chasing after you. I'm prepared. If that means a forever of heartache and tears. I'll do it. You can't get rid of me that easy."

The tears burst from her and made her body shudder with built up grief. She apologized and tried to turn away. Remus gently stroked her back and kept his arms around her. "I love you, beautiful girl of mine. Please tell me what is hurting you so much."

"I miss him." She sobbed.

Remus's heart stood still for a second and without thinking blurted, "_Sirius_?"

That got a snort of laughter out of the bawling girl. She punched his shoulder and glared through red rimmed eyes, "No, you insecure bastard! I love you, Mr. Lupin. Sirius is a necessary annoyance. A lovable annoyance, I'll give him that. But you are the man I promised to marry."

"Yeah, I just have this image of me carrying you home from our wedding and Sirius will be sitting on the doorstep asking me, _What took you so long. I was bored. So what are we going to do tonight?" _Remus groaned and kissed her on the cheek,

"I'd kill him." Casey chuckled and rubbed the tears off her face with disgust, "Merlin's Beard, I hate crying."

Remus brushed her dark hair back from her face as she used toilet paper to clean up her face. After a little silence crept between them Remus asked quietly, "Who do you miss?"

"Tommy." She sighed and her dark eyes concentrated on the floor. Remus watched silently as she twisted one finger through the gold chain around her neck. "He was such a big part of my life. I promised him forever once too."

Remus's muscles tightened once more and Casey laughed and twisted herself so she was straddling him on the toilet. "Not like that, you fool. I was 6 and promised he'd be my bestest friend for forever. We really are insecure, aren't we?"

Remus shrugged and tried to smile, "I still don't understand why you are."

"And I don't understand why _you_ are! I know how lucky I am to have you look at me the way I do. You've just got this bat-crazy chick on your lap, crying her eyes out over another guy who she hasn't seen in like 3 years."

"Ah yes, now that you've put it that way…." Remus pretend to try and get up. Casey shrieked and punched him on the shoulder as she glared through laughing eyes. "Oh wait, now I remember something. That bat-crazy chick, yeah you remember her, she was the best thing that ever happened to me."

She rolled her eyes but kissed him with affection.

The door opened then and Sirius and James laughing forms stood in the doorway.

"The bathroom?" Sirius moaned and covered his eyes.

"I mean, really guys?" James built off of his best friend's start.

"And you didn't even lock the door."

"Bad form."

"Really bad form."

Remus threw the roll of toilet paper at the two dark mocking men. "Will you get out?!"

"Only if you two come with us!" Sirius grinned that bright, enthusiastic smile he has since he was ten years old and fresh off the train to Hogwarts.

"Picture time!"

"Picture?" Casey asked confused.

"Have you been hanging out with Peter?" James laughed. "You know, a camera… click! Presto you have a photo. Come on, everyone is here and we want to take a picture!"

Casey got off of Remus awkwardly and headed for the door. Before she made it Remus grabbed her hand and tugged her back into one more hug. "If you miss him this much, write to him. I promise I won't be a jealous bastard."

She took a deep breath and nodded looking at the floor. "I think I will." She breathed before turning toward the Order members already getting organized for a photograph.


	11. Goodbye Letter

Dear Remus Lupin and Sirius Black,

I have been asked to explain a situation to you both. You were the two she specifically asked me to contact.

I hope to give you a full and fair representation of the occurrence so you can make a rational opinion on the manner and are not swayed to strongly by emotions.

For this is a delicate manner and I am the villain in this situation.

For, to put it bluntly; I have asked Ms. Meadows to depart our company for an indefinite amount of time.

There has been knowledge leaked to the men and women known as Death Eaters for quite some time. This is an age of secrecy and duplicity and I fear that Ms. Meadows' admirable affection for one and all is detrimental in this world.

I am removing her from the Order and those involved in order to see if she was indeed the one transferring knowledge. It is not, though she accused me of believing, because I think she'd purposefully betray those she loved. I just find that she has a capability for loving some who might betray.

As you know, James and Lily are under a protective spell but they are not the only ones who need protection. I cannot keep everyone under lock and key.

Instead I have to resort to this. I shall not beg for your understanding, but I would hope you would consider my reasoning while evaluating the situation. Both of you are important contributors to the Order and it would be a shame for this to affect that.

Casey has many friends. She will remain safe, I am sure. I made her promise to remain in contact with me even while exiled and though she was reluctant, I do believe she meant it.

There was a few things she wanted me to convey. She loves you both dearly. That much, she made very clear. She told me to tell you that she is not running away. She promised forever and she meant it.

She is very angry and I fear might try and find you against my express wishes. Please deter her. If she makes any attempt to contact either of you, please come to me immediately.

My regards to you both in this trying time,

Albus Dumbledore


	12. Absence

Chapter 11: Absence

Sirius:

She used to say that in was always worse at 3 o'clock in the morning. In the depths of night when it seemed no one else was awake and the world was just darkness and loneliness. She was right.

Without disturbing the nameless girl who slept soundly beside him, Sirius crawled out of her bed and went to the kitchen. He contemplated whether he wanted water before a moment before making his way to her liquor cabinet and pouring himself a stiff glass of whiskey.

Sirius had begun acting out. Dumbledore had been worried that he would remove himself from the Order but instead his insomnia was only cured by fighting against the Dark Arts. He was volunteering for the hardest and most dangerous expeditions by the end of the week without her.

With the liquid burning in his throat and belly, he closed his eyes and hoped his mind would settle for a moment. A grasp of oblivion was all he wanted right now.

Lily and James were nearly impossible to be with for long periods of time right now. They were cooped up in that tiny house for too long now, and tempers were always on edge. It didn't help that Lily was noticeably pregnant and her emotions were as vibrant as her hair. He still tried to spent all of his free time there.

As the liquor settled he held the bottle in his hand and contemplated another glass. Was it worth it? Would it really help?

Peter was nearly a nonentity at the moment. He would pop back into their lives randomly with muttered explanations of undercover Order work. It was understandable. They all had been working hard. It was getting intense though. Everyone was coming back to Order meetings with shadows on their faces and scars on their bodies.

He focused on the amber liquid and let it dance in the dim light of the small kitchen before raising it to his lips and leaning his head back in order to let it slide down his throat.

He couldn't stand Remus. The friend who knew his pain the most acutely was ghost of his former self. Listless and lost, he would look at Sirius with eyes full of her memories and Sirius couldn't stand it. He needed to move on. It was ridiculous that he was so affected by the absence of one person. Even though she was the his fairy of light and happiness. She'd flitter into his life and make him smile when the shadows were strongest. Now he only at the measly light of the stars and the dim glow of a girl's kitchen light.

With a deep breath he put the bottle back into the cupboard and exchanged whiskey for water. His moment of oblivion never came, just that burning fuzzy feeling that clouded his mind but she still managed to find a way into his thoughts.

He hadn't returned to their apartment more than six times since she left. The suffocating sound of silence chased him out faster than any Death Eater could. Instead he put on the suave mask of his heredity and seduced his way into others beds.

He managed to make it back to the bedroom without any mishaps and crawled into bed. The girl rolled over with a sleepy smile and asked him why he left as she fingered the robes he hastily had donned. He didn't even answer, just captured her mouth with his in order to stop her questions. She didn't seem to mind the stale taste of whiskey on his breath as she welcomed him back into her embrace.

Why in this moment, when his mind should be on the lush, willing body in front of him does he think of over large eyes and whispered confessions in the night.

Remus:

"Mr. Lupin, I have no new information for you." Dumbledore readjusted his half moon glasses on his nose and evaluated the stricken man in front of him. "I can only reiterate my sentiments from yesterday and every day previously since the day she left. She has not contacted me but it doesn't mean she is harmed or that you should let yourself go. You do not need to come to this office everyday. The moment she contacts me I will send an owl to you."

Remus looked at him with golden eyes shadowed by fatigue and strain. "Did you write to her again?"

"Every other evening I write to tell her that she should return home. That I was in the wrong, and it is someone else leaking the information." He fingered the long end of his beard contemplatively as he spoke. "I am guessing from your presence you have had no communication with her."

"We have to do something!" Remus shouted. The growl that had become a part of his voice in these last months grew in his anger. "I write to her every chance I get. But most often the owl comes back with the letter unopened. I don't even know if she gets them and just sends them back or if the owl can't find her." The utter defeat in his voice brought Dumbledore to his feet.

"Do you know where she is, Remus?" He asked the distraught man.

"I would be there now, if I did." He rubbed his eyes. "I'm pretty sure I know who she's with though. Would that help?"

"Anything would help, Remus." Dumbledore answered his blue eyes sharp with interest.

"Sirius is convinced that she's abandoned us for her Tommy. I know nothing about this man other than that he was a childhood friend. Sirius think that because we didn't finding her right after she left, she sees it as the fulfillment of all her fears. Now, she wants nothing to do with us." The tears that were suppressed seemed to catch in his throat and he began to fiddle with the trinkets on Dumbledore's desk.

"Then, it is as I have feared. If I known the affect of this separation, I might have reconsidered. It's ruining both you and Sirius." Dumbledore sat back down in his futility.

"Sirius is fine." Remus growled and the delicate instrument in his hands snapped. "He smiles and seduces, I don't think he even cares." He lamely put the instrument back and turned away from the older man.

"Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore admonished. "Do not become blinded by your own pain so you cannot see a dear friend's. Just because you respond with starving yourself and obsessing does not mean that it is the only reaction to suffering."

"I'm not starving myself," If the growl was absent in his voice he would have sounded like a petulant child.

"So you've eaten today, then?" Dumbledore's voice had a hint of humor in it. The laughter was silenced by the look he got in response.

The conversation was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Remus murmured his farewell's and turned to leave, realizing nothing could be accomplished by yelling at the venerable older man. So, he was the first to open the door and admit the knocker.

He was entirely surprised to see a tiny dark haired girl with eyes you could drown in on the other side of the door. It knocked the breath out of him, but he saw that Casey was just as taken aback. Before he could catch his breath to tell her anything she had leapt into his arms and dissolved into tears.

"Ms. Meadows," Dumbledore's voice interrupted their reunion. "It has been six months since I have notified you that you could return. I do believe that a conversation between us is imminent. I do hate to pry you from Remus's arms, however…."

His suggestion of Casey leaving again was met by a nearly feral sound strangled out of Remus's throat as he held her closer. From his arms, Casey looked out at Dumbledore with eyes as hard as sapphires and nodded to him.

"Baby," She murmured and brushed the loose hair off of Remus' face. "I do need to talk to him." She unwound herself and led Remus back into the office to face Dumbledore. She never let go of his hand though and he followed like a lost puppy with his tail in between his legs.

"I'm resigning from the Order for good." She stated looking across the desk at a man she used to hold in the highest esteem. The naked anger in her face betrayed her feelings for him now.

"Have you joined another cause, Ms. Meadows." Dumbledore asked quietly after a pause.

There was no warning but every single portrait in the office fell from it's place on the walls with a sound like crashing thunder. In the commotion of frantic past headmasters her answer was nearly lost. Dumbledore heard it though, "Never."

"What are you insinuating!" Remus growled and wrapped his arms around the small woman once more.

"It was a question that needed to be answered. I am right in presuming that you have contacted Tom Riddle in the time of your absence." Dumbledore sighed as he looked at the wreckage. "I do not know just how you managed to go through these halls and never learn to control the wild magic inside of you. If you could channel this energy you could be a most outstanding and powerful witch, Ms. Meadows. Instead you ignore your wand and immerse yourself solely in potions. Even your friend, Severus Snape ventured beyond the subject."

"Casey can do magic just fine!" Remus rose to her defense before Casey could even open her mouth.

"Just fine is only the beginning, Mr. Lupin." Dumbledore answered. "But Dorcas could be much better than just fine. We've had this talk before though, haven't we?"

Casey didn't answer but instead responded with, "I went to Tommy's right after I left here the first time. I did not betray you though. I came here to open my mind so that you will let me be with the ones I love."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked the growl that had become apart of him was absent for the first time in months. It left him sounding young and vulnerable.

"Ms. Meadows?" Dumbledore waved a hand toward the woman. "This is not my place."

She squirmed and turned to look at the man she promised to marry. "It's complicated but pretty much, Tom is Lord Voldemort. I was with him since I left and now Dumbledore thinks I'm a spy. So I'm going to open my mind so he can see I'm not. Dumbledore is a very good Legilimens."

"Though not better than Ms. Meadows is at Occlumency." Dumbeldore intoned.

"Not for lack of trying." She spat back. "You've been trying to get into my head since you met me."

"You were a very intriguing ten year old, Ms. Meadows." The older man nodded, refusing to deny the attack. "You spoke of a man I feared with affection and adoration and when I tried to pry quietly I found indestructible walls in a mind which should have been wide open."

"My mind should be my own. Both you and Tommy never understood that." Her words were so quiet that it was barely audible but both men in the room heard her.

Casey looked up at Dumbledore with sapphire eyes and nodded. Dumbledore gave her a sad smile and raised his wand. It didn't seem that much happened except Casey stiffened in his arms. It wasn't more than five minutes before she relaxed and turned into Remus' arms and burst into tears.

"Are you done?" Remus demanded of the man who once was all that was good and powerful in his mind. He didn't even wait for the nod before ushering the broken girl out of the door.


End file.
